Ok, so it’s Monday, and I’ve had time to digest everything that happened this weekend, as my bathroom will attest to (damn you Domino’s Pizza and Frank’s Red Hot Sauce!). UFC 157 gave us the most memorable Ronda Rousey fight yet, two incredible submissions that got a Meh+ from me, new reasons to talk trash to Bernard, and the return of the Giant Head.

“Ronda Rousey Does it Again” is the appropriate headline, but it was almost “Ronda Rousey Doesn’t Exist” after Liz Carmouche took half her neck spine home with a nasty crank (calm down, Misurahns, different kind of “crank”). Rousey, however, added another layer to her legend by simply walking around the cage with a purple face until she could throw Carmouche from her back like a drunken Donnie Gay from a methed-out bull. Metaphors is all mixed up in this piece.

Rousey showed something new in this fight, something she hasn’t failed to show in the past due to inability, but simple non-necessity – heart. You can’t coach heart, unless you’re a cardiologist or something, and it is ALWAYS a question mark with the athlete who is dominant – can the person who faces little adversity really be adept at handling adversity?

Look, there are two Ronda Rouseys where MMA is concerned (mmm, two Ronda Rouseys); the one in the cage, and the one in the gym. It’s easy to think only of the one in the cage, the one who breaks arms in under 60 seconds, but that Rousey doesn’t exist without the gym Rousey, the one who works her ass off from dusk til dawn.

While Carmouche was able to control a large portion of the 4+-minute fight, Rousey’s legend still grows, because she has now checked off one of the very few remaining vacant bullet points on her resume – Can Ronda Rousey adjust to adversity in a fight and overcome it?

Yes, yes she can. She improvised, adapted and overcame. Against a bad-ass Marine. With all necessary and appropriate apologies to my girlfriend, who is sick to death of hearing about Ronda Rousey, the woman can fight, and her “heart” cred is now legit and confirmed.

I will start this paragraph by stating that I respect my good friend and colleague Bernard Oliver immensely, and believe he is a wonderful human being. I will start this paragraph by stating that, so that I can then spend the rest of the section trash-talking him. Or, to be more accurate, trash-talking parts of two of his recent articles.

First, in Bernard’s breakdown of the bonus winners for the card, he questions Kenny Robertson’s kneebar as Sub of the Night…

Come on, B-nard. Kenny Robertson won Sub of the Night because Kenny Robertson produced the Sub of the Night. Period. Reasonable people can disagree, but I’m not reasonable, so I’m just going to call Bernard wrong and be done with it.

Kenny Robertson’s kneebar was the runaway for this bonus, INMNHIICHIO, because of at least 3 factors.

• How often do kneebars actually win in the Octagon?
• Where in the holy hell did that kneebar come from?
• Have we ever seen that submission in a major promotion fight?

In order, my answers would be “approximately neverish”, “hell if I know” and “damn you Domino’s Pizza and Frank’s Red Hot Sauce…also, no, I don’t think so”.

Bernard’s first choice for SotN, judging by his column, would be Rousey’s armbar, followed by Faber’s rear naked. Now, I’ll get to Faber in a second, but neither one of these subs had either a.) the novelty of Robertson’s kneebar or b.) rarity of Robertson’s kneebar. Easy choice, to me.

Before the event even occurred, Bernard was pretty pessimistic on Lawler’s chances against Koscheck –

A few “full disclosure” disclosurings early –

• I thought Koscheck would win, also
• Bernard has an irrational love for African-Americans with blonde hair (See Guillard, Melvin, Minaj, Nicki and Bieber, Justin)
• Robbie HAS lost a number of fights over the last few years

You never sleep on Robbie Lawler. Ever. No man with a head that size should ever be taken lightly. Also, if you are fighting in the UFC for the first time IN ALMOST A DECADE at this point, you probably know your way around a fight.

Is Robbie Lawler back? Is he a legit contender for a strap? Probably not. But it’s always fun to see Josh Koscheck get his stupid face pounded (editor’s note: I am most certainly NOT willing to back my talk up in any way. While I consider Mr. Koscheck’s face to be stupid, I will gladly run and hide like a little girl if the need ever arises.)

I also don’t know where Rogan was coming from on complaining about this stoppage. Maybe Koscheck WASN’T asleep. Maybe. If not, it probably would have been a good strategy at some point while Lawler was punching him directly in the face, and the ref was hovering like my dog when I eat chips, if Koscheck would have, hell, I don’t know, blocked some part of his head.

The whole “intelligently defending” thing isn’t new. Whether you’re out or not, whether they hurt or not, you aren’t allowed in this sport to just lay back and let your opponent tee off on you with strikes in perpetuity (unless you’re Chris Leben, but we all win there.)

In all fairness, Koscheck was having trouble seeing what to defend, though, what with his eyes being all the way in the back of his dome and all.

In a night full of “I did not see that coming”s, Faber might have been the impressivest fighter on the card. Against a VERY game and tough opponent in Ivan Menjivar, Faber really dominated from the get. What stood out like a literate Mississippian, though, was his fight-winning sub, and the ridiculous progression that got him there.

In a nutshell, Faber jumped on Menjivar’s back, obtained kind of a back-mounted version of the Gary Goodridge crucifix, hooked one leg around Menjivar’s arm to trap it, spun his hips down IMMEDIATELY into a tight body triangle, and choked him like a violent dreadlocked backpack. The fight ended with Faber on a standing Menjivar’s back against the cage, forcing the tap with the rear naked, and raising his arms in victory…still on Menjivar’s back.

It was an AWESOME performance by Faber, who I’m ready to see at 185. Give that man Hector Lombard!

• Ronda Rousey is a beast
• Kenny Robertson’s kneebar was as unexpected as it was sick, and Bernard is a dumbhead
• Uriah Faber remains among the elite of whatever class he’s in at the moment
• Robbie Lawler’s head is what attracted that asteroid to Russia
• Josh Koscheck landed a whole bunch of significant strikes with his face
• I’m a better person than Bernard
• Ok, maybe not a better person, but I’m at least a better MMA prognosticator than him when I have hindsight to work with, and he doesn’t. Same-same.

I’m still coming off of what I call my “MMA high” that I get after an MMA event, but I’ll try to contain myself.

I’m still perplexed by this one. Koscheck was wrecking Lawler’s grill and controlling the cage, and gets KO’ed? Well, that’s what happened. I never saw this coming…ever! Koscheck slipped up, and just got knocked out of title contention. With the only knockout of the night, there was no one to compete with. According to Dana White, Koscheck was knocked out, and then awakened by subsequent blows.

I thought it was called early. Lawler definitely deserves the bonus, though.

Wow, this could have gone to Faber and/or Rousey easily…but the kneebar is the winner. A mounted rear naked choke, or a record seventh first-round armbar, have more impact in my opinion, but Jardine almost tapped out Robertson, so maybe that’s what Dana figured into his equation. A comeback crazy submission may weigh more in this situation, although Rousey almost lost, too. What heart and resilience she showed by not tapping to that neck crank! Her head was almost backwards.

In closing, Faber and Rousey probably make way more money than Robertson, so he would need the money more. Congrats my man on a sick kneebar.

Check out this Brazilian kneebar technique at ehow.com.

I have seen fans say that McGee/Neer should have gotten this, and I say that although there could be a case made for that, there were moments you lost interest in the McGee/Neer battle. Both were awesome fights, and very fun to watch. Bermudez and Grice take the cake, though.

Neer is one tough son of a gun! McGee, move your dang head next time somebody jabs you four times in a row. I’m hard on McGee because we have been working the same thing at the gym I box at, and coach jabbed me four times and told me why he was able to do so. Long story short, move your head at all times.

Liz Carmouche neck cranks Ronda Rousey at UFC 157

Ronda Rousey attempts Arm Bar of Liz Carmouche

Uriah Faber begins his transition to rear naked choke against Ivan Menjivar

So after reviewing the show this week, I have to come out and disagree with Gary and Chris on a few fights. These will be as short and sweet as I can make them.

Okay, so this is my plus-one. I could have picked a few of the fights for this, but let’s be serious…we have two heavyweights going at it, and we have to take those where we can get them, right? Right.

That being said, this is a hard fight to pick. On one hand, you have Lavar Johnson, AKA the Rock’s cousin (that may or may not be true). He has very weak submission defense, or at least that’s what his losses show. He either knocks out his opponents, or he gets submitted by them…all of them.

On the other hand you have Brendan Schaub, the overconfident bad boy who is coming off of two, almost three, knockout losses. We all know what happened to Overeem and King Mo. Underestimating Johnson will make for a short night for Schaub. His skills are promising; his discipline, on the other hand, is something to be improved upon. Schaub is a brown belt in BJJ, which is a strike against Johnson. Schaub’s chin is an open target for Johnson, who is probably on a hotter seat than Schaub.

This is a fight for employment for possibly both guys. With as many as 100 fighters who could be getting the boot this year you can bet the loser of this fight may not have a job this time next week.

I’m taking experience over theatrics. This is Johnson’s chance to shine. It’s rather difficult to say this but:

Lavar Johnson by KO

Kos, let’s see you make another title run. Lawler’s career of late is absolutely riddled with losses. I’m not sure what’s up with Lawler’s game, but the powers-that-be must have seen something in him to bring him over to the UFC. Lawler is a veteran, but so is Kos. Koscheck has lost a few controversial split decisions recently, and was fighting a back injury that sidelined him for months. This fight has “tune-up fight” written all over it. Let Koscheck grease his wheels, and then maybe get back on the road to GSP vs Koscheck II? I think so. Let’s not overlook his opponent though. Who am I kidding?

Koscheck by submission, but he could very well KO Lawler.

Well, my mind leaned pretty far into Neer’s crotch after seeing that thirty-three in the win column, no homo. But, even so, I will defend McGee. He was on an absolute TEAR until he met Constantinos Phillippou, and what a fight that was! A couple of bad decisions doesn’t make me a believer that he is on the decline. Neer is more than capable of ending a fight, though he seems to fluctuate quite a bit. He’s fought everywhere from Shark Fights to Bellator to UFC. The experience is really stacking up against McGee, but dang it, I can’t pick against him…must be the beard. Neer’s weak point seems to be McGee’s strength. McGee’s submissions are calling out to me right now, but I’ll take

McGee by KO

This bout is very interesting to me because Menjivar is being counted out. I have been watching Menjivar for a while now, and I have to say, he has my vote in this fight. Faber is still a sound veteran in the UFC, and this has great fight written all over it if he shows up ready to battle. If he doesn’t, The Pride of El Salvador walks out with a win – maybe a TKO, if we’re lucky.

Menjivar by unanimous decision

All I hear is H-bomb this, and H-bomb that. Somehow, Machida is still favored. Good. Because I’m taking Machida…but then, I remember back to the Shogun fight. If he can bang and brawl with Rua that way, it does not bode well for Machida.

Good thing Machida doesn’t get into all nitty-gritty like that. Machida’s elusiveness can only save him for so long. This becomes a “who wants to get KO’ed first?” contest really quickly, in my humble opinion. I’m leaning toward Machida throwing the first knockdown punch, but Hendo may revive and finish him like he did Fedor. Why do I torture myself?

Machida by KO

Women’s Bantamweight Title Match

I really don’t see this fight getting out of the first round, due to lethal armbar by Rousey.

Carmouche has an all-around game, and is well deserving of this shot. She’s not as long as I originally thought, but she can fight standing, or on the ground.

Can she touch Ronda? If she doesn’t come out all tentative like Kaufman did, we may have a fight on our hands.

Ronda has done nothing but improve, and I’m anxious to see her get another highlight finish. I don’t think Carmouche is getting the credit she deserves, but Rousey still takes this fight.

Rousey by submission

Chael gives fight picks at 7:50 of the podcast. You’ll have to listen to find where he discusses his opinion of his Congressional representation.

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I’ll tell you people something you might not know about me – I’m a bit superstitious. I completely avoid breaking mirrors, stepping on cracks, walking underneath ladders, and I definitely think that both ominous and fortuitous events happen in threes. So, after seeing Overeem and King Mo get KTFO in relatively short order due to being way over-confident in their abilities and taking dangerous opponents too lightly, I’m thinking we’ll all be in for another big upset in the very near future.

• Bellator 90

For those that didn’t see it, Bellator 90 was a night of highlight real knockouts. Ben “Killa B” Saunders launched a sniper like head kick that put Raul Amaya into orbit, Douglas Lima’s overhand right (thankfully) ended the least active round of fighting I think I’ve ever seen that didn’t involve Clay Guida, and Shahbulat Shamhalaev capped off the night with another right cross that put a very game Rad Martinez to sleep. There was also a nicely-timed right hand off of a leg kick from Mikhail Zayats against Jacob Noe that didn’t knock him out, but set up an exquisitely technical armbar finish. It wasn’t a KO, but it was definitely a highlight reel submission that made me excited to see the welterweight final between Zayats and Saunders.

• King Mo KO

Then, there was King Mo. Strutting in without a care in the world, confident, brash, fully aware of his status as the odds makers’ favorite. He was looking technically sound and in control, too, but that left hand was low, and Emmanuel Newton was throwing combinations. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a spinning backfist knockout, and there is very little that is more satisfying than seeing it happen to someone with a snotty attitude. I hate to keep making such an obvious comparison, but it really was Overeem v. Silva all over again. All the way down to the shoulder rolls, King Mo was just giving Newton absolutely no respect, and he paid for it; albeit a bit earlier than Overeem did.

Lawal walked in the building like a king to court, almost as if this fight were just a tune up. The crew at Bellator couldn’t have set the match up any better. The pre-fight interview segments featured a highly emotional story of Emanuel Newton losing both of his parents before he was 17. This was juxtaposed to King Mo’s characteristically cocky bravado about how he was going to make Newton look silly for being in the same cage as him. It was the perfect set up for an upset, and the Hardcore Kid delivered in spades.

I have to give Newton credit, he came to fight. He came out swinging in high volume, occasionally landing some effective strikes. Lawal was pacing himself and working on his defense, but still getting in some powerful offense; however, his defensive measures were lax, as he kept his left hand low, and tried to roll with Newton’s punches. He was doing alright at first, but when Newton missed a right hand and came back around with that spinning backfist, the King was caught off guard. Mo seemed to topple down in slow motion, like the regal walls of Jericho, almost as if he was surprised to be unconscious.

• Who’s Next?

It was a big upset, and it made my night, but back to the original point; who will be the next overconfident super athlete to get knocked stupid by a motivated underdog? Here’s my short list:

Dan Henderson vs. Lyoto Machida- I stated the other day that I figured Lyoto would come away with this one. That technically means that Hendo getting a KO would be an upset in my eyes, but not much of one. And if Lyoto were to get the KO against Hendo, I’d certainly be flabbergasted. Neither of these guys are likely to take the other lightly though, so this doesn’t technically fit the shortlist’s description, but it’s still fun to speculate on.

GSP vs. Nick Diaz

Hah. Just kidding.

Johnny Hendricks vs. Carlos Condit

This wouldn’t really be a big upset, but I’m putting it in anyway. Hendricks isn’t the most likely to get overconfident though, so I’m casting doubt here. Then again, he is riding high on a four fight win streak that has some big name knock outs on it. Maybe the success has gone to his head? It was pretty bold to leapfrog Ellenberger to take on a more highly ranked competitor…

Hector Lombard vs. Yushin Okami

Now this would only be an upset if Okami knocks Hector out while they’re standing. Personally, I don’t see Okami being able to take this one. Lombard is tough to take down and usually keeps his hands up, but we’re trying to pick upsets, right? For the record, I think this is the most likely to fit the bill, especially if the fight goes long.

Who do you think is going to be number three on the overconfident super athlete upset list? Leave your picks in the comments.

So, UFC 157 is kind of a mixed bag of tricks. The Facebook and FX prelims certainly don’t look like much; there’s potential there, but no real standouts. Aside from an almost assuredly entertaining match between Brendan Shaub and Lavar Johnson, there is almost zero name value to the preliminary bouts, and very little incentive for anyone but the most hardcore fans to tune in. So I’ll watch, but I won’t like it. Okay, maybe I’ll like it, but I’ll pretend not to.

Even the first couple of matches on the main card don’t hold a whole lot of interest for me. The most intriguing thing about Koscheck vs. Lawler will be how quickly Josh can end it. I personally am in the same camp as GSP in thinking Koscheck beat Johnny Hendricks in the latter’s split decision victory last May. He looked good in that fight. He was consistently taking the center of the octagon, scoring on the feet (while taking some shots himself, certainly, but I felt he did enough to take rounds 1 and 3), and he landed the only takedown of the fight in the third, ending the fight on top while dealing damage at the bell. Unfortunately for Koscheck, the judges weren’t as convinced as I was, and he came up short. Now he gets a tune up fight that should end in clear victory against the flagging Lawler.

Lawler has lost three of his last four, and this just looks like a mismatch from the beginning. Love him or hate him, Koscheck is one of the best at 170, and Lawler hasn’t fought consistently or successfully at that level in some time.

Also, riddle me this – how did Court McGee and Josh Neer even make it to the main card? Both of them are coming into this fight after losing two straight. Neither are relevant to the welterweight division, and both could possibly be in danger of a release from the UFC’s Strikeforce-flooded roster if they don’t perform in this match. I mean, they definitely aren’t ranked higher than Tyron Woodley, Nate Marquardt, or Tarec Saffiedine. I’m just confused about that one. Granted, it could be a very entertaining fight because Josh Neer is in it, but as far as ranking, relevance, and fan interest go, I’m just not sure why these guys are sandwiched between better known fighters like Koscheck, Lawler, Faber, and Menjivar.

Speaking of the Bantamweights, that’s where this card turns around and starts to get interesting. Menjivar is always tough, and Faber is looking for some redemption after a lackluster decision loss to interim champion Renan Barao. The California Kid is a clear favorite in this fight, and for good reason: it’s not for a title. When Faber isn’t fighting for titles, he always looks great. I’m expecting him to put himself back into the mix with an early stoppage here, in what should be a fast paced and exciting match.

Next comes the most interesting fight on the card, from a competitive standpoint – Lyoto Machida and Dan Henderson. Black House fighters have been on a roll recently, cleaning up at UFC 156, and Machida is going to look to keep the streak going. He’ll have to do so by eluding Hendo’s right hand, and scoring his trademark in-and-out strikes to keep the fight standing and take a decision. He’ll also probably look to capitalize on Hendo’s plodding, flat-footed style, and go for the KO if the opportunity presents itself.

I don’t really see the KO happening, for a few reasons. One, Machida would have to really commit to his offense if he wants to KO Hendo. Committing to an attack means leaving an opening in his defense, and exposing himself to that thunderous right hand. He’ll be elusive and non-committal as usual, unless we see Hendo really make a misstep. Two, he’s also got to avoid the take down. The closer he gets to Henderson, the more he’ll have to deal with the clinch, and Dan’s Greco takedown skills are not to be trifled with. Three, Henderson traditionally has an iron chin, and a KO isn’t a super likely scenario anyway. Four, he’ll have a cardio advantage, and it just makes sense to let Henderson work up a sweat trying to chase him all over the octagon.

Meanwhile, Henderson will need to put the exact same game plan he has for every fight into action, and that’s to bide his time, pick his openings, unload his cannon right, and try to work his takedowns. I’d love to see Hendo come away with a win here, as that would give him the next title shot cleanly; unfortunately, I feel like the Brazilians just have too much momentum, and that this is a bad matchup for him, stylistically. He’ll come out swinging, but Lyoto is just going to be too slick for him.

Finally, there’s the main event, which is by far the most interesting fight from a historical standpoint. Rousey is going to takedown Liz Carmouche, pass her guard (that is, if she doesn’t land in side control immediately), and finish the fight via armbar within the first four minutes of Round 1. There is nothing that can prevent this result. Carmouche knows it’s coming. She knows exactly what Rousey will try to do, but there isn’t a damn thing she can do about it.

She just doesn’t have the necessary talent, athleticism, skillset, or anything else to compete with a sexy monster like Rousey. In my opinion, almost no woman in the world does. I think Rousey would probably decimate Cyborg if that fight were to ever materialize. Sara McMann might have a shot, but even that’s doubtful. She hasn’t been able to translate her Olympic level wrestling skills to MMA in quite the same dominant fashion as Rousey. Ronda is just a scary, scary lady, and I don’t see anybody being able to stop her for a long time.

However, it will be awesome to watch, and it will be interesting to find out how she can perform as a headliner on a pay-per-view event. And, from a historical prospective, it is a definite must-see.

So break out the credit card, folks. I’m not expecting it to be the card of the year, but it’ll certainly be worth entertaining to see Miss Rowdy snap another victim’s arm in half.

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And we are live with UFC on Fuel TV 7: Barao vs. McDonald. Feel free to comment on the fights below.

I’m going to start this off on a high note…Mills in the 1st. I’m all prognosticary and whatnot, this gonna be fo reals.

Che Mills vs. Matt Riddle

Round 1

Both start testing the range, and Riddle goes in for the single. He holds it all the way over to the cage, where he holds Mills to the fence. Riddle holding underhooks, using a few short knees.

Riddle drops for the double, then single, and he manages to push it to the ground off the fence.

Mills goes back-to-wall, posts the elbow, and wallwalks up in short fashion.

Back to Riddle holding against the fence, and they separate.

Mills hits him a couple of times, and Riddle pushes through another single, which Mills again rises up from in short order.

Back to Riddle holding Mills to the cage, and they separate again, with a leg kick from Mills landing on the way out.

Mills hitting lefts and rights on the feet, and Riddle clinches it up to the cage again.

Riddle tries to sweep him down, too much space, and they’re back to the cage.

Most of this first round had been Riddle working to takedowns off the cage, and he gets his third with a minute to go.

Riddle controlling from top, does nothing with it but rabbit punches.

Round ends with Riddle dropping short elbows from the top of Mills’ half-guard.

I have it 10-9 Riddle after 1

Yeah, I definitely won’t be typing that much on any more rounds. You get what you pay for, deadbeats.

Round 2

Riddle right back to the single, and then he kicks Mills’ legs out from under him. Mills throws a kick from the ground, but Riddle lands on top north-south. -ish.

Riddle locks down the neck, and then moves to side. He throws some short punches from there. Not much damage, but there hasn’t been so much in the scoring department so far.

Mills trying to block Riddle from stepping over into mount, and Riddle is completely controlling the position with his wide frame and posture.

Riddle throwing knees from side. Also short punches. Doing enough to own the card. Mills grapevining the leg in position to step over.

Riddle finally attempts the step-over, and Mills stuffs it. Mills gets to half-guard. And Riddle finally steps to mount. Uh-oh. Riddle gets back, and has Mills’s shoulder and head trapped. Under a minute, and he’s going to rear naked.

Mills defending the choke correctly, and is slowly turning into Riddle, which Riddle turns into a mount. Riddle has half a arm and shoulder choke. Round ends right there.

I have it 10-9 20-18 Riddle after 2

Round 3

It’s K-Flo and Johnboy Anik rockin the 1′s and 2′s on the mic…that’s right, it’s UFC night on tiered cable.

After some tomfoolery in the middle, Riddle is back to the cage. I feel like that sounded like a Jay-Z line.

Riddle doing what he’s done all fight, taking underhooks against the cage and dropping for takedowns from there. Mills with a nice sprawl, and now has Riddle locked up a bit. He tries a whizzer to throw Riddle, but Riddle is strong like angry ox. Riddle now in Mills’ guard. Does more light work from there. Big elbow lands from top.

Riddle out to half-guard, and he has owned the ground work. In toto.

Riddle actually feinting a kimura, and that allows Mills to sweep to Riddle’s guard, with bouts a minute left.

Mills stands up, and seems confused. They stand them up with 30 seconds to go. Riddle is smiling, as per usual, goes for the takedown, Mills sprawls, round ends with Mills wallwalking out and Riddle holding him to the cage. Circle of life, Simba.

I have it 10-9 30-27 Riddle after 3

The judges score it 29-28 28-29 30-27 for the winner, Matthew Riddle defeats Che Mills by Split Decision

Nice fight to start off with. Not a brawl, but 15 minutes of work. I can accept a grind-out fight when it grinds out.

I have absolutely no idea how anyone scored that fight for Mills. None. Maybe I’ll get it on a rewatch, or maybe if I drink. I’ll try both, just to be safe.

Hulk smash. SMASH! Quick, before my 3:00 meds!

So, Uriah already has a NOS commercial? I don’t read spoiler sites, but spoiler alert! He’s in the finale.

James Te Huma vs. Ryan Jimmo

Round 1

They run into each others’ arms like Barack Obama and drone missile manufacturers. Topical!

Jimmo is pushed to the cage, and at 0:08, this is the longest fight of his career. Te Huna has underhooks, and they’re broken up. Jimmo with a giant kick that floors Te Huna, and Jimmo is mauling him. Mauling.

Te Huna is cut up, but seems to have survived for now. Incredible. Te Huna’s face is massing blood. He gets his back to the wall, and gets back up, but Jimmo pulls him right back down. Te Huna trying to make his guard work, but Jimmo seems crafty. What a career start for Ryan Jimmo. Damnation.

Jimmo punching Te Huna against the cage as he tries unsuccessfully to get up. Dropping elbows and punches. Te Huna also throwing from the bottom, punches and elbows.

Gotta wonder about Jimmo’s tank after the maulery early. He largely sat in Te Huna’s guard for the last 45 seconds or so. Te Huna has Ca Hunas.

I have it 10-9 Jimmo after 1

Come on, you knew something like that was coming.

Round 2

Jimmo tries the left head kick again. Why not? Te Huna grabs Jimmo and pushes him to the cage, where he goes for kind of a trip-throw that Jimmo stuffs and turns to his advantage against the cage.

Jimmo with the over-under, trying to get Te Huna off balance for the trip, no dice. Te Huna gets behind Jimmo, and slams him from behind. Te Huna holding top on Jimoo, and I again wonder about his tank. He had to think he had the fight won earlier.

Te Huna staying tight on top in side control. Big weight on top of Jimmo, and he’s working some tight ground and pound. Te Huna steps over Jimmo’s arm, and gets to mount from the threat of the crucifix. Back to a half-guard quickly.

Te Huna doing work, evening the card out. The work he did late in the 1st saved him from a 10-8 on my card, but these jduges haven’t been on the same wavelength as me all night.

Te Huna with punishing ground and pound from the guard, from standing, and from half-guard. He’s beating Jimmo up. Last 10 seconds is all Te Huna attacking Jimmo.

I have it 10-9 Te Huna 19-19 after 2

Round 3

Te Huna the aggressor on the feet, and I do think Jimmo is tired. His mouth is open like an Alabama fan watching Apocalypto.

Jimmo holding Te Huna to the cage. Holding a single, but with no threat of doing anything with it. Back to over-under, and some quick lefts by Te Huna lead to a slight separation and big right to Jimmo’s chin. He then wisely backs out and resets. Smart. Te Huna grabs Jimmo and pushes him to the cage, and Jimmo immediately reverses.

Te Huna drags Jimmo down with the body lock, and is in half-guard immediately. Kind of a side-control-half-guard. Jimmo getting beat up some mo. Te Huna’s cut is open again, and they appear to be having a conversation from the audio. Te Huna finishing the fight on top, punching and elbowing. 20 seconds to go, he’s just about wrapped this up, unless 10-8′s in the 1st cause a draw.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Te Huna after 3

The judges score it 29-27 29-28 29-28 for the winner, James Te Huna defeats Ryan Jimmo by Unanimous Decision

Now, except in social situations, I’m no Rain Man…but wouldn’t 29-27 mean that someone said that Jimmo didn’t have a 10-8 round, but Te Huna did, right? Right? Why do I have a feeling one of these judges is French?

Arkansas is playing Mizzou 4 miles from my house right now. We really need to come up with some kind of solution to these MMA-Arkansas scheduling conflicts. It’s tearing our nation apart at the seams.

Gunnar Nelson vs. Jorge Santiago

I got Nelson here all day, by the way.

Round 1

They clinch early. and both guys are bouncy.

Santiago lands a punch, and then a knee. Nelson grabs a clinch, and it breaks quickly.

Nelson lands a side kick. Then one to the leg. High kick semi-lands for Santiago. Nelson dives in for a double after some exchanges from range, and Nelson lands in Santiago’s half-guard. Nelson trying to find his way through Santiago’s leg spacing, and Santiago lands some punches up from his back. And they’re back to their feet.

Santiago landing, and Nelson just leaves his hands down. Weird.

Body kick lands for Nelson. Santiago pawing with the jab, lands the right, and pushes it to the cage. Nelson gets outside position, and they separate, with Santiago missing a punch as the round ends.

I have it 10-9 Nelson after 1

I guess? I mean, the takedown, right? Maybe?

Round 2

Left lands for Nelson. He has Santiago to the cage again, and they’re off again. Nelson tries a knee from clinch, Santiago responds with a right. Nelson then lands 2 or 3 hooks in row against the fence. Nelson drops and finishes the double.

Nelson has side control from Santiago’s half-guard, and he’s working tight ground and pound.

Nelson with some nice rights as he stands over Santiago, and then a big left coming down, followed by an elbow. Sitting in Santiago’s guard heavy, and clinching his head.

Nelson keeps his elbows heavy on Santiago when they’re tight. Annoy-ing.

Nelson stands up, kicks the leg, and gets right back on it. He pushes Santiago’s legs aside, and blasts him with a left falling down. Pretty. Now has side control, and he’s controlling Jorge Santiago on the ground.

Nelson moves to mount. Goodness. Right hand glances through for Nelson. Nelson lands an elbow, probably less than a second after the round ended. 1-second rule.

I have it 10-9 20-18 Nelson after 2

Round 3

Santiago lands a nice punch rushing in. Nelson has him to the cage, goes to thai clinch, disengages.

Nelson with a right. A lot of standing at range right now.

Santiago gets Nelson to the cage, landing some knees, and an elbow on the way out.

Santiago with a high kick and a right. He looks very tired, but he’s getting more aggressive.

Leg kick for Santiago. Then a right. Then a couple more punches in a clinch.

Uppercut lands for Nelson, and Santiago is wobbly. He clinches Santiago and pushes him to the cage. The separate with 90 seconds to go, and Santiago’s legs are jelly.

Another uppercut lands for Nelson, and he pushes to the cage again. Nelson drops to double, but Santiago defends well, and they break apart yet again.

They clinch up, and they may have fallen asleep on each other’s shoulders. They’re tired.

Last 10 seconds is ALL Santiago punching Nelson against the cage, with Nelson just standing in front of him with his hands down, taking it.

I have it 10-9 Santiago 29-28 Nelson after 3

The judges score it 29-28 29-28 30-27 for the winner, Gunnar Nelson defeats Jorge Santiago by Unanimous Decision

Yeah, Nelson is pretty good. I still don’t advocate standing against the fence getting punched in the face.

Manuwa. Write – it – down.

Jimi Manuwa vs. Cyrille Diabate

Round 1

They clinch up early, and Diabate gets him to the fence. Manuwa fights through and drops Diabate off the one leg.

Manuwa on top in side half-guard. Position of the Night award.

Diabate stays safe on the ground, and just slowly improves his position until he stands up. Nice.

Manuwa holds Diabate to the cage, and then they break. Manuwa lands a head kick, Diabate lands a knee, and Diabate goes down, with Manuwa backing off.

Diabate grabs a clinch, and lands a knee. Diabate lands an elbow and a knee. Diabate lands another knee, but Manuwa is walking him down.

Right lands for Manuwa. Diabate with a massive knee to Manuwa’s breadbasket, and Manuwa takes him straight down. That hurt, methinks.

I have it 10-9 Manuwa after 1

And Diabate may have torn his calf muscle. This fight ends between rounds.

Jimi Manuwa defeats Cyrille Diabate by TKO (Injury) after 1 Round

Such is life.

Yes, please.

Cub Swanson vs. Dustin Poirier

This is a great fight for a co-main with John Anik.

Round 1

Both throwing leg kicks early. Swanson getting the business from Poirier with the leg kicks, and he’s landing a punch here and there.

Swanson lands an undercut to small effect. Swanson charges in with a right, and Poirier counters it perfectly.

Head kick from Swanson checked, and Poirier pushes him across the ring to the fence.

Poirier holding underhooks, and throws a right as they break. Swanson lands a body shot.

Uppercut from Swanson hurts Poirier, then a knee makes it worse. Swanson is swarming, and then Poirier catches the leg and puts Swanson on his back.

Swanson on his back with Poirier in his guard, 30 seconds to go.

Poirier landing rights, trying to step over. Swanson somehow stands up, jumps into a knee, throws a left, and backs out – all with Poirier holding his leg.

I have it 10-9 Swanson after 1

Round 2

Swanson with the leg kick to start the round. And one for Poirier. Swanson goes to the body, and Poirier responds to the dome.

Poirier lands all of a 3-punch combo, then went to the body.

Both landing combos. Swanson with a body kick. Poirier grabs a leg, didn’t set it up, Swanson just backs to the cage and turns it out.

Poirier pulling on the leg, but this isn’t going anywhere. Swanson defends with the kimura, and they break apart.

Right lands for Swanson, and a leg kick.

Swanson landing a couple of rights, and Poirier dumps Swanson on his back again.

Swanson moves to omoplata, and Swanson gets to his feet with the sub attempt, and punches Poirier as he steps away.

Poirier going for the single again against the cage, Cub defends with the kimura again. Poirier trying to get to the double, but Cub is so wide, it’s not happening. They separate with 20 to go, and Poirier lands a right.

Nothing much happens in the last 10, a punch by Swanson as the round expired.

I have it 10-9 Poirier 19-19 after 2

Round 3

Poirier has a couple of punches checked to start the round.

Poirier holding Swanson to the cage. Swanson gets out, but Poirier crushes him with punches, pushing him left and right on the fence. They break, and Swanson lands a couple of times before a big jab from Poirier.

Now Swanson takes Poirier down, and it seems like his motor is better right now.

Swanson dropping hammers from Poirier’s guard, and moves to back with hooks.

Swanson going for the sub position, Poirier just trying to get out of the back hook. Poirier starts to stand up with Swanson still on his back, and then goes back down.

Poirier again trying to stand, Swanson is just all over him, great position from back. Poirier turns into Swanson and drops him, but Swanson just sweeps to mount. Now he’s punishing Poirier. He steps out, and they clinch, before Swanson lands a massive hip-to-hip throw.

Swanson back to Poirier’s back, and this is ALL his round. He’s attacking Poirier’s left arm with the armbar, and Poirier gets out with under 10, throws a few punches, and the fight ends with Swanson trying to get to triangle.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Swanson after 3

The judges score it 29-28 30-27 30-27 for the winner, Cub Swanson defeats Dustin Poirier by Unanimous Decision

Ok, no crazy cards this time. As far as I know.

Big fan of both of these guys. Michael’s got a big task in front of him, but I’m going with the underdog.

Renan Barao vs. Michael McDonald

And not just because my first article, in the March 2012 TapouT magazine, was about Michael McDonald.

Round 1

Barao with a spin kick that doesn’t really land. Barao rushes in, gets the takedown, had McDonald’s side.

McDonald creates space, gets to guard. Barao has his hand on the ground, and McDonald is trapping the arm.

McDonald creates space and gets up.

Left and right from McDonald. Another right from McDonald on the counter. McDonald lands coming in, but Barao hits harder with the counter.

Barao goes for another takedown, McDonald easily sprawls out. McDonald with a series of rights, holds Barao’s head to cage for some more rights, and Barao drops to grab the legs. Barao lands a knee and punch standing up, and has McDonald to the fence.

Barao takes him down, and is back in McDonald’s guard. Barao hitting the body from top. McDonald trapping Barao’s left arm now. Baraoo to the body, and we’re done with this round.

I have it 10-9 Barao after 1

What with the takedowns and all.

Round 2

Left for McDonald. Feeling each other out here.

Uppercut to left for McDonald. Barao misses with the spin kick. Left lands coming in for Mike, and a little head butting.

Right over the top lands for Mike, Barao shoots in for the single, and McDonald stuffs it again. Barao follows up, but McDonald upkicks and gets up.

Right and Left for Mike. Counter right for Mike leaves Barao stumbling.

Mike gets poked in the eye, and after some discussion between he and Barao, decides to take a sec.

They’re back at it quickly. Uppercut lands for Mike again. Left and then a leg kick for Barao. Not many of those so far. Front kick to the FACE from Barao. Kind of. Mike hits the counter right, and Barao stumbles backward.

Barao lands the counter on the exchange, and spins into McDonald’s shoulder as the round ends.

I have it 10-9 20-18 Barao after 2

Round 3

Left and right for Mike. Right for Mike, but Barao clinches him up and lands a couple of times, and they brawl for a few seconds against the fence.

Barao with a big combo coming forward, has Mike to the fence, trying with no success for a takedown.

Barao grabs Mike’s back and eventually drags him down, landing in side control. Barao tries to mount, and Mike escapes.

Left and right for Mike. Front kick misses for Barao. Mike with an uppercut that glances. Right for both, and a right for Barao.

Head kick misses for Barao. Both with a left. Right for Mike, Barao counters twice. Mike is getting stale.

Spin kick lands to Mike’s gut. Barao starting to look VERY comfortable.

I have it 10-9 30-27 Barao after 3

Round 4

Mike is smiling through bloody lips. Barao with a left coming forward. Big left for Mike. Barao shoots for a single, Mike just throws him off. Flying knee lands for Barao coming in, McDonald just misses on a flailing counter hook.

Mike lands three straight rights, Barao goes for another takedown, Mike shrugs it off again.

Spinning back kick to Mike’s face. Right then left for Mike. Mike steps under a punch with a body shot. Barao grabs the body, knees the face and then the knee against the cage. Barao drags him down, and take shis back quickly. Barao goes to head and arm choke, and Mike gives a thumbs up, but it looks deep.

75 seconds left in the round, and it looks bad. McDonald taps to the choke.

Renan Barao defeats Michael McDonald by Head and Arm choke with 1:04 remaining in the 4th Round

Great fight, Mike will be back.

UFC on Fuel number 7 is mere hours away, thanks to a crazy time change (and an adorable impulse to show the fights live in the U.K.) That means they air during the daytime in the U.S., leaving me hopelessly unable to catch the most fascinating Bantamweight fight we’re likely to get this year. It’s a self-described David and Goliath story – which is funny, because Goliath definitely weighed more than 135 lbs.

The Jewish shepherd/underdog in this story hoping to become bantamweight king is none other than Michael McDonald. He’s become somewhat highly touted since his brutal knockout victory over Former WEC champ Miguel Torres last year. And while much of the praise that he’s received is well deserved, I can’t help but think that elite status thusly bestowed might be a bit premature in this case.

McDonald is lightning quick, highly defensive, and very savvy. He’s got dynamite in his hands, and like most bantamweights, his cardio is nothing short of incredible. Unfortunately, I don’t see anything in his game that Renan Barao doesn’t do better.

Renan hasn’t been beaten since 2005, and there are some really good reasons for that. His standup is insanely good – he’s a regular sparring partner for Jose Aldo. That fact alone should speak volumes about the man’s toughness. His ground skills are slicker than oil on ice when you’re wearing a pair of plastic socks…so that’s pretty slick. He has the ability to end a fight no matter where it goes. He’s dynamic, speedy, heavy handed, and has powerful leg kicks, which McDonald notably has a tendency not to check. He’s just too much for the bible-thumping blondie, and I’ll expect him to make a very strong showing, to take a clear decision win from the 21-year-old contender.

Wait, what’s that? McDonald had a birthday? Oh, so he’s 22 now. The party had cake and punch? No alcohol was served? He led an inspirational U2ish sounding worship service using only three chords?! Well, the kid is definitely talented. You’ve got to give him that.

I hope his faith and piety pays off, because this fight on paper looks like a one-sided affair. But this is MMA, and if Alistair Overeem has taught me anything, it’s that miracles can definitely happen when people possessing a superior skillset let their guard down and give the underdog a puncher’s chance. And that’s about the only shot I see McDonald having in this match. If he can use his considerable footwork, get in, and launch some power shots early, he may just lead the Israelites to victory against the Brazillistine giant, and make his way to the throne.

Who’s king Saul in this metaphor do you think? Dominick Cruz?

I’m taking this too far. I can see that now.

Either way, come Saturday morning I’ll be rooting for the underdog to throw that Hail Mary stone from his sling and bring another belt back to the states. USA! USA! USA!

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StraightRight Boxing and Fitness tasted overwhelming victory at the 2013 River Valley Showdown amateur boxing showcase held at the Lincoln Youth Service Center in Ft. Smith, Ark.

Two time Golden Glove Champion Kalvin “Sauce” Henderson and teammate Demario Moore both cleaned house against their opponents, and left no question about the seriousness of their gym’s training.

Moore has just recently begun learning the sweet science, and definitely got a confidence booster with a win before you could say, “Well, this should be good.” From the bell, Moore’s pressure and pinpoint punches proved to be too much for his opponent. The fight lasted only seconds as his opponent’s corner conceded and threw in the towel.

Later in the night, Henderson faced the very capable Anthony Hill, a fighter with Miz-like swagger that screamed “I’m awesome.” Hill, not being one to shy away from a brawl, didn’t take the loss sitting down. Hill’s deceptive defense made it difficult to tell when and where punches would come from early on, but Henderson was ready for everything thrown his way. After a round of feeling each other out, the fireworks began to go off, and we had a show on our hands, folks. Henderson seemed to find his groove throughout the second round, and finished strong with a one-sided third round. A grudge match between the two is expected to happen in Hot Springs, Ark. at the Hot Springs Boys and Girls Club at 6:00 pm on Saturday, Feb. 16, 2013.

StraightRight Founder and Head Coach Kevin Lightburn is the man behind Henderson and Moore, along with a stellar team of assistant coaches from both the Springdale and Little Rock gyms. The gym’s motto preaches “The Three D’s of Life”: desire, discipline, and devotion.

Lightburn is an accomplished former fighter himself, with a plethora of awards ranging from Kansas City Golden Glove Champion to National Golden Glove Silver Medalist (during an Olympic qualifying year). He has also trained Arkansas’ former Undisputed Middleweight Champion, Jermain Taylor, in the past. MMALockup will have both Henderson and Lightburn on in the future, so be on the lookout for that interview.

For more information about StraightRight Boxing and Fitness visit their website at http://www.straightrightfitness.com/Home.html.

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Eddie Alvarez, Bellator’s golden boy (and potentially one of the top 5 lightweights in the world), is in a legal dispute with the promotion over a matching clause in his contract. The contract’s language basically states that Bellator has the opportunity to match any other deal that a rival promotion (in this case, the UFC) might offer Alvarez upon the completion of his initial contract.

So, of course, when it came time to renew or move on, the UFC offered a big name fighter like Alvarez a lot of coin, some pay-per-view money on the back end, exposure on a major television network, and a fast track to a title shot. Bjorn Rebney, the president of Bellator, countered by copying and pasting. He says they matched the deal word for word, clause by clause.

Here’s the rub: Bellator has never put on a pay-per-view, they aren’t carried by any major network, and accepting the “exact same deal” that the UFC offered him from Bellator severely limits Eddie Alvarez’ long term earning potential. So when Rebney refused to let the one time lightweight title holder go, they ended up in front of a judge.

Said judge ruled that there needed to be a trial, and that the evidence was in Alvarez’ favor, but wasn’t overwhelming enough to have the case dismissed. This puts Alvarez’ career on hold, and frustrates the living hell out of fight fans who would love to see how he would stack up in the UFC’s most loaded division. It seems to be a petty dispute on the promotion’s part, and one that is hindering Alvarez’ rise to superstardom. Overall, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth because of the supposed “close relationship” between the lightweight standout and Bjorn Rebney.

The only reason that this dispute managed to make it past the judge is because of the new Spike TV deal, and an as-of-yet unfounded promise to put Alvarez in a pay per view match with Michael Chandler (Chandler even admitted on twitter that he had not been informed of any such pairing). With these blatant misdirecting embellishments, the Bellator legal team convinced a judge to take the dispute to a full trial.

They may even be able to keep Alvarez – but, in the end, that’s a terrible move. Alvarez will be bitter about the deal, he’ll be disgruntled, unmotivated, and the furthest thing from a team player. He won’t volunteer to step up in a bad spot, he won’t be the company man that he once was, and he will languish in the lack of competitive depth that the smaller promotion is trying to build. He’ll suffer the most for this slimy bit of intrigue, and more than likely will never reach his full potential.

For Bellator’s part, it’s understandable that they’d want to keep one of their biggest stars. Though they have a new champion, Michael Chandler, Alvarez is still a known quantity, and a name with earning potential. Bellator has maintained in front of a judge that the rematch between the two is going to be on pay-per-view, with the possibility of a trilogy if Alvarez wins the rematch. Two very lucrative fights in the short term, and the precedent set that they won’t give up their star athletes to the UFC without a fight.

It’s a savvy move from a chess player’s standpoint, and it plays to the trend of putting promotions before their products. For the record, that’s a trend that the UFC started.

There’s a lot to be gained from keeping Alvarez on the roster, clearly. However, there’s a lot to be lost, as well. Alvarez’ obvious and understandable frustration with his company is not happening in a vacuum. Other fighters can and will take notice of this highly public dispute, and are certain to make a note of it in their career planning. This may mean a lot shorter line for those itching to get into Bellator. And that means less growth for the company, and less growth for the sport as a whole.

I hate that, because it seems fairly obvious to me that MMA needs some high-quality talent cultivators to help flesh out the pool of competitors. A promotion capable of competing with the UFC can only benefit the sport; which is why I was sad to see Strikeforce go, and happy to hear of all the steps that Bellator has been taking to bring their promotion more exposure.

Unfortunately, the brass at Bellator have seemingly forgotten that a promotion is only as good as its fighters, and the best fighters are not going to want to sign with a company that will try to stop them from moving on to the next stage in their careers. Bellator is a small pond that wants to keep all of its big fish. The catch-22 of it all is that the pond might not be able to expand without these fish. They’ll either have to accept their slot as second fiddle, or continue to bully fighters into remaining with the promotion long past the opportune moment to move on.

The real losers here are Alvarez and us. He’s got to spend a stupid amount of money on legal fees, waste an indefinite period of time during his prime fighting years, and suffer the stressful rigors of a drawn out legal battle when he should be preparing to fight Gray Maynard, Nate Diaz, or any other number of big name fighters out there.

We, the fans, lose because I’m writing about a courtroom battle instead of a cage fight. The fans have to sit and deal with this legalistic nonsense when all we want is to see the best fighters in the world prove who the toughest is. It just strikes me as very sad that we have to let a court that probably doesn’t even watch the sport deliberate on whether or not an elite fighter should be able to justify that label.

It’s a sad development, but hopefully one that ends with the fighter’s needs being served without the promotion being dealt a blow that it can’t recover from.

It was another big weekend in mixed martial arts, with UFC 156 providing a highlight reel of upsets, and Bellator drawing nice numbers on Thursday as they continue to settle into their new Spike TV slot.

Bellator 87

Bellator 87 drew over 1 million viewers in its two Spike runs on Thursday night, according to Sherdog.

The original run drew in over 700k viewers – a fairly large number, but the second straight decline, in their third week on the newer and bigger network.

To put the million first-night viewers into perspective, if the event were a UFC pay-per-view, it would have been in the top-10 all-time for viewership.

It’s important for MMA fans, especially those in the key demos advertisers look for (looking at you, 18-34-year-old males with poor fiscal discipline), to watch shows like this where they get the chance – more support for MMA means more exposure for MMA which means more support for MMA which means PERPETUAL MOTION OMG LOLZ!!1!!

UFC 156

First of all, if you’ve never had the chance to watch a UFC with Chris, you’re missing out. He vehemently denies that he goes into fights with biases, but let’s recap an average exchange from the main event –

On screen, Frankie flies in to Aldo’s range with a couple of jabs, 1 of which gets through and clips Aldo’s chin. In the process, Aldo hits Frankie with a left that snaps his head around, and kicks the legs out from under Frankie on the way out.

Chris: Frankie’s got it going now! Aldo is hurt and tired, Frankie’s turning this thing around.
Me: Frankie’s eyeball is hanging out. He just tried to make a collect call to Irving Berlin.
Chris: Yeah, but he hit Aldo, and Aldo is tired.
Joe Rogan screams on television “Aldo’s mouth is open! Frankie’s winning!”
Me: Is Rogan blind? I mean, Frankie is right now, but is Rogan?
Chris: Look! Look! Frankie! He’s about to start levitating, and his face is converting into a crew-served weapons platform! This is the era of the Frankietron!
Me: Frankie just spit out 2 teeth. And 3 ribs.
Chris: Well, that’s it, I think you can call this one. 52-43 Edgar.
Me: That’s not a real score. And it’s the 2nd round.

According to the Chrismetrics, Frankie won the stare-down 30-25

On to other matters, how awesome was that right by Tyron Woodley? I mean, seriously?

Facebook source material – be sure to attribute in your bibliography, fool.

If you missed the Woodley punch, you clearly aren’t aren’t Jay Hieron’s chin. All gif-ified -

If you watch it enough times that your eyes relax, Hieron’s head turns into a flaming eagle. A flaming eagle which gets the crapped punched out of it.

As far as submissions go, Bobby Green impressed me a ton with his rear-naked victory over HUGE favorite Jacob Volkmann. Volkmann is no pushover for a UFC debut, and Green largely pushed him over (after losing the first, anyway).

The biggest story in this fight, to me, was Kim Winslow standing the fighters up when they were unquestionably working, and a dominant position had been established. I’m of the opinion that MMA refereeing is about 10 years behind everything else in MMA, but I haven’t had that many issues with the work of Winslow. I consider her the second-best consistent ref in the big promotions, behind Big John himself. Object lesson? Even the second-best ref sucks when it comes to standing up fights.

Of course, she might have been less inclined to stand the fighters up if her annoying neighbor hadn’t kept her from sleeping the night before with his incessant, obtrusive science experiments.

A young Bernard Oliver expresses his opinion on the stand-up

I said there were some great upsets earlier in this piece, and Green weren’t the only one. When it comes to who I thought would win this heavyweight tilt, on a scale of 1-10, I gave Antonio “Bigfoot’ Silva a moldy pineapple with worms. Worms with AIDS. For two rounds, it appeared as though I was right (the way it’s appeared for 33 years), but the third saw something I LOVE in MMA.

I’m going to start with the presumption that most of you have seen Glengarry Glen Ross. I will proceed from that point to insult and mock those of you who haven’t, and graciously educate you, to allow you to catch up with the rest of the class, so we can stop waiting on your un-cultured monkey butt.

The way this clip relates (if indeed it does) to this fight is this – my theory on good fighting is ABF – Always Be Fighting. What that means is, even if you aren’t swinging wildly or exposing yourself, even if you’re just standing at range or holding side control for the moment, always be thinking about how you will win the fight, and always be advancing toward that goal. In this fight, Bigfoot sort of let the fight come to him for 2 rounds, with Overeem completely dominating the fight in all aspects. At the time, I assumed it was simply a guy who was outclassed, but I now think Bigfoot was ABFing. I think he rope-a-doped his incredibly talented Dutch opponent for 2 rounds, with the expectation that he could win against a tired and open-mouthed striker in the third. Bigfoot CLEARLY had a different mindset in the final round of this fight – too many times, you see a guy come out for the last round, with zero chance of winning a decision, and they keep looking for their spot as the final five minutes of a life-long regret piss away.

Bigfoot was having none of that. Bigfoot was fighting, and he was closing. Overeem walked around with his hands down for most of this fight, and when he needed those hands up the most, Bigfoot put him to sleep, before standing Over Reem’s (SWIDT? IWHS,IWLIOPT [if you remember the 1990's, you might get that {this isn't even real notation at this point}])) lifeless body to curse it in what I can only assume was some supernaturally thick-tongued and guttural Portuguese. It was a fantastic fight, and a huge statement from a somewhat forgotten giant piece of the Heavyweight puzzle. I’m not exactly ready to see Bigfoot and Cain again after the demolition of the first fight, but he certainly improved his position on the ladder with a completely, totally, all-encompassingly-and-eclipsingly-and-hiccupingly shocking standing knockout of the man with the best stand-up in the class.

I would give Overeem to Junior, and then start looking for a way to phase him out if he fails there, as well.

Also in the “upset” column, Rashad Evans caught Little Nog’s lead hand mid-paw 392 times en route to a rousing, stirring decision loss. And what I mean there is that the fight roused me from my interest in the event, and I stirred some more whiskey into my Dr. Pepper (that’s right, Dr. Pepper, I ain’t no communist).

Perhaps the guy who did himself the most good over the weekend was Demian Maia. Maia completely out-Fitched Jon Fitch, controlling position for about 800 of the 900 seconds in this fight. Maia has been markedly different (improved) on his feet in the years that have passed since Anderson Silva made a fool of him for the Middleweight title, and the drop to Welterweight seems to have been a positive and natural one for the Brasilian (I spells it different because I gots culture, son). While a victory over Fitch is somewhat diminished since his chin went, this wasn’t a simple “hit the spot, turn out the lights” finish. Maia walked into Fitch’s world, at the weight Fitch has been near the top of the world in for half a decade, and just ran things. 10 seconds into the fight, Maia had Fitch’s back, and that was it. This fight was over when they closed the doors.

If GSP beats Diaz (even as a HUGE Diaz fan and supporter, I think he will), I hope his next fight will be Maia. Obviously, Maia won’t stand still until that potentiality comes to pass, but I have trouble seeing very many challenges for him, shy of that elite crust of the class. What appeared to be a cleaned-out class just 2 years ago now has a nice crop of established and up-and-coming talent that will challenge the final years of the GSP welternasty.

Do I look like a man with donkey brains to you?

All in all, on the whole, UFC 156 hit the spot, and lived up to a well-deserved billing as a card full of close and personal bouts. Now we look forward to UFC 157, and Ronda Rousey breaking another poor woman’s arm while we wait for the deer antler cocktail to wash out of Cyborg’s titanium-coated veins. Someone get Ray Lewis’s number, he knows what I’m talking about (like a stab in the dark, baby).

Drink deeply, the bitter tears of disappointment. It’s an unpalatable drought but it has to be swallowed with manly determination. If I sound a little melodramatic, then you’re paying the correct amount of attention. Saturday night was a humbling experience for my fight picking skills, as I was wrong about nearly everything, except for the main event, which I really would have rather been wrong about.

Frankie “the Answer” Edgar was apparently in response to the question: “which MMA fighter can most consistently break your heart?” Unfortunately, the one underdog with what seemed like the most aptitude for an upset couldn’t quite get it done Saturday night. Not for lack of trying though. In what will most likely go down as one of the greatest fights of all time, and a certain early candidate for fight of the year, Jose Aldo put together more damaging offense to take home a closely contested 5 round decision.

I’ll be honest; it was a long shot from the beginning. After the first two rounds, in which Aldo dominated, Edgar put on an incredible point-fighting performance through the last three that left the judge’s ruling in doubt. But in the end, I think the correct decision was made. There’s definitely an argument for giving Edgar the final three rounds, but rounds 3 and 5 were close enough that you have to give leeway for the judge’s decisions. Personally though, I have a hard time granting the 49 to 46 score that two of the judges put out.

Though Aldo had the big front kick in round three, (wow) Edgar walked right through it (higher pitched and more enthusiastic: wow) and continued getting the better of almost every exchange over 5 minutes. The fourth was more of the same, with Aldo getting in on or two hard shots for every 5 or 6 of Edgar’s less powerful strikes. Round five was closer, with Aldo stealing the momentum in the last 15 seconds. I had the last three scored for Edgar, but I can see an argument for taking rounds 3 and 5 from him. I don’t agree with that argument, but I’m bringing in a heavy personal bias.
This was the one fight I just did not want to go as it was supposed to. Aldo proved once again to be one of the top pound-for-pound fighters in the world. He took out his biggest challenge to date, and further solidified his dominance in the featherweight division. Looking at the fight from a pure damage standpoint, he was clearly the victor.

In other news on the same card, upsets abound as Rashad Evans put the audience to sleep in a lackluster decision loss to Rogerio Nogeira. Evans seemed to have forgotten that he can throw an explosive right hand or use his left for punches, feints, and all sorts of techniques other than playing patty-cake with his opponent. His lazy openhanded jab block left an opportunistic Little Nog free to set up a consistent straight left that didn’t do much damage, but did steal two out of three rounds from Rashad in one of the biggest upsets to rock the light heavyweight division in a long time.

This dashes any potential for Rashad to drop down to middleweight to challenge Anderson Silva for the belt, and I for one am glad to hear it. Because if the same fighter that showed up in Las Vegas on Saturday tried to make a stand against the Spider, Evans career would be reduced to a series of high profile losses against superior strikers.

A happier upset victory came to Bigfoot Silva as he decided to go super saiyan in the third round against Alistair Overeem, shocking the hulking Holland native (along with the rest of the world) with a well-timed head kick and a furious flurry of strikes against the cage. Herb Dean made the right call and put a halt to the onslaught, making for a very murky body of water in the heavyweight title picture. This is an upset with a couple of bright sides though, as Bigfoot moves up the ranks, and Overeem will almost assuredly be awarded a grudge match against Junior Dos Santos.

Demien Maia started out the upset momentum on the main card with a dominant grappling performance of “Jon Fitchian” proportions. Plain and simple, he out-Fitched Fitch. He took Jon down and gained dominant positions, seemingly at will. His progress was only paused while looking for submissions, which caused me a brief moment of longing for the far off days of the 10-minute first period back in the Pride fighting championships. Gone, gone are the days of my youth.

And thank God something went right, with Benavidez surviving a bad spot in the second to take a clear decision over Ian McCall. At least I can count on the little guys to fight with some damn consistency. This sets up Benavidez for another title shot against Mighty Mouse. And I hope he can game plan up a storm for it – having just watched DJ trounce John Dodson with inhuman speed and pressure one week prior, I can’t help but think Joe has his work cut out for him.

Other standout moments from the prelims were Tyron Woodley’s insane sprinting right hand knock out over Jay Heiron, which will have plenty of people talking about his new spot in the welterweight division. There was also an awesome submission victory from Bobby Green over Jacob Volkmann. All in all, a good night for the Strikeforce alumni (Overeem excluded, of course.)
The moral of the story? Expect the unexpected. Big names don’t always equal big wins, but when they do, it’s because you were rooting for the underdog and you jinxed it.

Damn you Jose Aldo, DAMN YOOOOOUUUUU!

With one of the biggest UFC Fight cards of 2013 so far out of the way, it’ss time to go over the fight bonuses.

Last night’s fight card may have appeared to go up and down to the average person, but longtime fans of the sport probably agree with me on the fact that the fights were as entertaining as they should have been.

Knockout of the Night: Bigfoot Silva over Alistair Overeem

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva’s KO of Alistair Overeem was by far the most crowd erupting finish to a fight I have seen in recent memory. Seeing this fight at Buffalo Wild Wings felt more like I was front row center at Mandalay Bay, as Bigfoot rained down reverberant right after left to the Overeem’s cranium. Men, women and children were on their feet as what I called the “MMA Upset of the Decade” unfolded like something out of a fairy tale. Waitresses stopped serving, and conversations stopped mid-word. This honor was well-deserved, and kudos to Silva for taking out the big bad wolf.

Before this fight, I called Overeem a one-dimensional bully; now, I may have to say he’s not cut out for the UFC. Not because of a lack of talent, but because of the idiotic tactics I saw on display from a fighter who should be worried more about discipline than how cool he looks losing.

Submission of the Night: Bobby Green

Although a case could be made for Dustin Kimura’s submission win over Chico Camus, Bobby Green definitely had the more exciting rear-naked choke victory over his opponent, Jacob Volkmann. One could argue Green also had much more to prove. He and fellow Strikeforce inductee Tyron Woodley shut out most criticism that stated they were coming from an inferior fight brand. Woodley certainly had Knockout of the Night written all over it until the two giants met later. This honor was well-deserved, and I look forward to Green in the future.

Fight of the Night: UFC Featherweight Championship Jose Aldo vs Frankie Edgar

The deciding factor here for me personally was the speed and power of Jose Aldo early in the fight, versus the resilience of Frankie Edgar’s chin. I don’t necessarily disagree with the decision, but I think that Joseph Benavidez vs. Ian McCall was a close second (if not just as deserving) for this honor. Aldo is arguably number two or three on my pound-for-pound list of fighters in the world (as he has been for the last two years), and he proved it, once again, against the former lightweight champion. Aldo dominated the first three rounds, lost round four, and came back in round five to seal the deal against the tough-as-nails Edgar. The blinding speed of Aldo’s leg kicks and counters proved to be too much for even a champion from a higher weight class.

Photo from Sherdog

The best thing Edgar can take out of this is that he looked fine in the featherweight division – as far as cutting weight, he didn’t miss a beat. Aldo can still work on finishing his last two rounds the way he does his first three.

UFC 156 was held at Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, Nevada February 2, 2013.

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And we are live with UFC 156: Aldo vs. Edgar. Feel free to comment on the fights below.

Joseph Benavidez vs. Ian McCall

Uncle Creepy, sir. I said Uncle Creepy, sir!

Round 1

After early feeling out, Creepy goes for the takedown, but Bena defends admirably, and lands on the separation.

McCall coming straight down the pipe. Big body kicks landing.

They’re slugging a bit. No advantage early, but Bena lands a huge left, and Creepy is wobbly. Nut shot by Bena, time out, and a quick restart.

Replay shows knee to the gunt.

Bena starting to look very comfy. Tight shots, lands a right and a left hook in tight.

Bena rocking the hooks. Has the timing all sorts of down.

McCall has taken some groin shots, and his left leg is getting raked.

Leg kick lands for Creepy, Bena hits a hook to the body on the way out. He’s dominating Creepy early with the counters.

Bena setting up with leg kicks, then coming down the pipe on the exchange. McCall catches a right hand and counters. Bena bleeding from the forehead. The round ends with measuring, after McCall lands the last strike of the round, a kick.

I have it 10-9 Benavidez after 1

Round 2

On 1st Round replay, Bena’s punches look light, very pawing. No reason not to judge a fight by one 5 second highlight.

McCall is throwing a nice left on the counter. If he lands that and follows up, this fight could turn quick-like.

Bena’s right is just living up in Creepy’s grill.

Creepy with an attempt at a single with a trip, Bena not having it, goes chest to chest and ends it before it starts.

I like guys who bring their punches from the hips, all in tight. Both these fellers do so.

A lot of feeling out, but it still feels likes Bena is winning the exchanges with his timing.

Bena steps under a McCall punch for a takedown, McCall just jumps on him. GnPing the poo out of Bena on the ground, Bena trying to scramble out, every scramble seems to end with him in a worse spot. He gets up to his feet, but Creepy pushes him to the cage. Round ends with McCall holding Bena by his back up against the fence. That might have changed the round. I did on my card, and I’m smart as hell.

I have it 10-9 McCall 19-19 after 2

Round 3

Bena opens the third blasting against the cage, McCall smiles through and works his way out with counters.

Body kick lands for Bena.

Creepy lands a body kick, but drops off of it, gets hit in the clinch, and Bena continues to land on the way out.

Big right Creepy, big left Bena. Simultaneously and errythang.

Leg kick lands for Bena, followed by left. Creepy ducks under and gets the huge double. Bena back up fairly quickly.

Exchanging leg kicks at range.

Bena catches a kick, and they trade from there before quickly separating.

Minute to go, and the difference in this fight may be the punches on separation. Bena has won getting out almost every time in this fight.

Body kick lands for Bena.

MCall stuffed on the takedown attempt. Lands a right. Lands a leg kick. Finishes the fight throwing. Game.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Benavidez after 3

The judges score it 29-28 29-28 29-28 for the winner, Joseph Benavidez defeats Ian McCall by Unanimous Decision

Toldcha.

Jon Fitch vs. Demian Maia

Round 1

Maia goes STRAIGHT for the takedown..and gets it. Already has back, 20 seconds in. Wow.

Maia on Fitch’s back standing up, halfway between grapevine and body triangle.

Maia’s jits is incredible. Insight!

Maia still on Fitch’s back, with Fitch standing up. For over a minute now. Fitch has an outstanding motor, but damn.

Fitch FINALLY breaks the Maia back position, after a few seconds in the clinch, Maia drags him back down. Fitch gets back up fairly quick, but Maia is just all over him, holding his back. Kneeing his kidneys from back. Fitch being abused in the grappling and positioning. ABUSED.

Maia could be a title contender at 170.

Maia has held dominant position for 290 seconds in the 1st round. 290 seconds.

I have it 10-9 Maia after 1

Round 2

Fitch trying to get comfortable. A lot of leg kicks.

Takes 40 seconds for Maia to get the takedown this round, but get it he does, on a quick double. Fitch creates space and manages to get back up. Impressive.

And Maia grabs his back and rides him back down. One hook in so far, with Fitch to the cage. Second hook in.

Maia has back to the fence, body triangle set on Fitch’s back. I mean, DOMINANCE.

Rear naked in at 2:30ish. Fitch fighting. Maia lets it go around 2:10.

Maia has had Fitch’s back with triangle set for nearly all of this fight. Again, great motor for Fitch, but as far as I know, he IS human. Trouble, said Travis Tritt (and Wayne Newton, but cheesier).

Rear naked back in as the round concludes.

I have it 10-9 20-18 Maia after 2

I saw a lot of ways this fight could go. This wasn’t one of them. Fitch has become a gatekeeper with the loss of his chin, but this is dominance in his world.

Round 3

Maia grabs Fitch in the first 5 seconds. Seriously. Jon Fitch’s mom has this 20-11 Maia after 2.

Guess where Maia is? Fitch’s back? Yep.

Maia is out, only 2 minutes into the round!

Wow, Fitch stops a takedown attempt with a guillotine, and Maia is defending. Fitch gets to Maia’s butterfly guard, and after some fiddlin round, they get back up. Against the cage. Maia on Fitch’s back. It was a good 40 seconds or so for Fitch.

They separate, and after some time, Maia goes double again, gets it on the second effort. Minute to go, and Fitch needs some girls from Fatima. Google it.

30 seconds to go, Maia on back with the triangle.

15 secconds to go, Maia on back with the triangle.

0 seconds to go Maia on back with the triangle, Fitch trying desperately to do anything.

I have it 10-9 30-27 Maia after 3

The judges all have it 30-27 for the winner, Demian Maia defeats Jon Fitch by Unanimous Decision

Alistair Overeem vs. Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva

Round 1

I expect Bigfoot to get put in a freeer here. Our Alabama readers know what I’m talking about here.

After a minute of exchanges with no standout shot, Overeem pushes Bigfoot against the cage.

Overeem landing a lot of knees to the body, the only real landing strikes early.

Overeem looks like he’s setting up an uppercut for that Buick Silva calls a chin.

More body/leg kicks against the cage.

Overeem timing Bigfoot now. Walking in with his hands on his hips.

Overeem pushes Bigfoot to the cage AGAIN. Bigfoot trying to work from the fence, but not much happnin. Overeem feints spinning back kick twice. He lands the uppercut into the clinch. Round ends with Overeem holding Bigfoot to the cage for the 4th or 5th time. 13 of 13 on bosdy shots in the 1st for Overeem.

I have it 10-9 Overeem after 1

Round 2

Overeem clearly crisper on the feet, with pawing jabs and counter rights. And he pancakes Bigfoot off the leg kick. On top in side control, and Bigfoot is punishing with elbows from the bottom.

Overeem working from Bigfoot’s guard, and you can hear the meat getting blistered from Overeem’s ground work.

Overeem stands up, can’t really find a good route to attack, dives back into the guard and continues working.

Overeem’s punches sound like home runs when they land. Thwap! There go your lungs.

Now Overeem can say he’s dominated on the feet and on the ground. Herb Dean stands them up under 0:30, and Bigfoot actually finishes the round with some big shots and a clinch. Nice.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Overeem after 2

Round 3

Bigfoot has a huge sense of urgency in the 3rd. And Overeem is hurt…HOLY HELL Bigfoot is DESTROYING OVEREEM STANDING.

And Overeem drops to the floor. Bigfoot just knocked Overeem the hell out.

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva defeats Alistair Overeem by KO 24 seconds into the 3rd Round

Bigfoot came out gangbusters in the 3rd. Knew he was down on the card. Finished the fight in less than half a minute. Mucho respecto.

I got Evans here. Head, not heart. Spleen undecided.

Rashad Evans vs. Antônio Rogério “Little Nog” Nogueira

Round 1

Not sure I see a finish here. Chris and I agree that if one happens, it will be Rashad doing it.

Some missed kicks, some missed punches. High kick by Shad does nothing.

Nog lands a nice left down the pipe. Nog finding a home for his left. That home? Rashadevansmothville.

Rashad lands a huge right from way wide, Rogan thinks Nog was staggered, I think he was covering.

Rashad goes for the double, lands it, Nog gets right back up.

Rashad lands a right, and ends the first with a head kick that does nothing.

I have it 10-9 Evans after 1

Round 2

Leg kick lands for Shad. Big left lands for Nog.

This fight is like Al-Qaeda flight school. Nothing’s landing. Too soon?

Nog has been better from distance, especially in the 2nd. Definitely has a better feel for range.

Evams goes for the single, Nog defends deep, looked like a takedown, Nog scrambles out.

Now he’s landing on the aftermath of the scramble.

Jabbing wins the round for Nog, and I think Shad’s mouth is bloody. He may just be chewing cherry Bubblicious.

I have it 10-9 Nogueira 19-19 after 2

Round 3

Still nothing happening, really. My dog is whining a lot to go out, but he’s a jerk. He got kicked out of group play at Dog Party USA. How can you not even be a good boy during group play?

Nog gets eye poked pretty good, and it’s time for Joe Rogan’s traditional mid-show open-finger glove complaints.

They restart after a short break, and it doesn’t take them long to get back to not doing much.

I guess Nog is winning this round on low kicks so far. Maybe? He’s landed several to the body in this round, and nothing else has happened.

Rashad working the jab with 80 seconds to go in the fight.

Evans goes for the single, nothing. That could be trouble. Nog looking crisper in the standup in the final 60. Lands a big knee to the stomach.

Nice right lands over the top for Shad, Nog grabs the clinch and hits some uppercuts. Shad hits last, I think Nog hit more.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Nogueira after 3

The judges scores it 29-28 29-28 29-28 after 3 for the winner, Antonio “Little Nog” Nogueira defeats Rashad Evans by Unanimous Decision

Jose Aldo vs. Frankie Edgar

Chris has Frankie by 4th Round KO…I don’t know how this will end, but I expect Aldo to completely out-physical Frankie and own this fight from start to finish. One of us is way wrong.

Round 1

Crowd cheering “Frankie” early. It’s impossible not to like the guy.

Frankie working leg kicks early. Big uppercut lands for Aldo.

Quick jab hurting Frankie. Frankie goes leg kick, eats a straight right. Jose lands again. He has the timing down it seems…uh oh.

Aldo is WAAAY faster than Edgar. Everything Frankie throws, Aldo misses and counters with the jab or a hard right.

HUGE leg kick by Aldo, followed by a right that lands. He is in charge.

Another leg kick lands. Feints low, goes high.

I have it 10-9 Aldo after 1

Round 2

Every time Frankie comes forward, which has been a lot, he’s getting beat up.

Aldo hitting the jab over and over. NASTY leg kick buckles Frankie for a second.

Another. And another. Aldo hits the flying knee after Frankie tries unsuccessfully to get inside.

Another leg kick, but Frankie hits Aldo with a huge right in the process, and gets the takedown. Aldo is back up after a second.

Aldo tries a spinning back kick, Frankie hits him with a left at the end of the spin.

I have it 10-9 20-18 Aldo after 2

Round 3

Frankie goes for the double early, kind of gets it, Aldo back on his feet as soon as his butt hits the canvas.

Front kick lands to Frankie’s face, didn’t seem to hurt him too much, but he’s bleeding harder from the nose.

Frankie starting to make a real dent with the leg kicks to Aldo’s left thigh.

Frankie with a nice combo. Huge right lands for Frankie. This round quickly turning his way.

Aldo throws off the takedown attempt like it’s a joke.

Lots of kick late, and Frankie has the momentum.

I have it 10-9 Edgar 29-28 Aldo after 3

Round 4

Aldo landing the jab. Edgar still trying the low kicks. Spinning back kick by…you know.

Ok, now Frankie lands a spinning back kick. Aldo holding Frankie at bay with the jab. Frankie goes hard for the takedown, gets natsing.

Frankie goes for the takedown, ends up getting Aldo’s back, picks him up and throws him, Aldo gets back up, but with Frankie on his back.

Frankie tries to throw Aldo again, Aldo uses his legs to stay grounded, and they separate after a bit.

Aldo misses with a flying knee. I think Aldo outstruck him there, but the throw may be the difference.

I have it 10-9 Edgar 38-38 after 4

Round 5

Aldo pushing the pace in the 5th. Misses a flying knee, follows with a punch.

Right lands for Frankie. Another takedown attempt for Frankie, Aldo lands a shot as he pulls back.

Aldo looking at the clock, he’s winning this round, but it’s close.

Frankie trying a bevy of combos and low kicks, but it may be too late. Aldo jumps off the fence with a punch.

I have it 10-9 48-47 Aldo after 5

The judges score it 49-46 49-46 48-47 for the winner, Jose Aldo defeats by Frankie Edgar by Unanimous Decision

Chris vehemently disagrees with the decision. I honestly don’t see where anyone finds 3 rounds for Frankie.

IIIIIIIIT’SS TIIIIIIME!

If you read that in Michael Buffer’s voice, give yourself a pat on the back. If you read it in your own boring inner-monologue voice, then slap yourself on the wrist.

Either way, strap yourself to the edge of your damn seat! Because the first and possibly biggest pay-per-view fight card of 2013 is right around the bend. UFC 156 is headlined by a featherweight superfight that I’ve personally been frothing at the mouth over for almost six months.

Frankie Edgar is challenging the undisputed featherweight king: Jose Aldo.

This match looks good. This match looks like the girl that just turned down every one of your friends at the bar, and is now giving you a bemused once over. I don’t think I can overstate how excited I am for this Saturday, and if you thought I was going to let you sit there and wonder “why?” well, brother, you’ve got another thing coming.

Jose Aldo looks invincible. He moves like a tiny, slightly less matrix-y, Anderson Silva. His fights have an ominous impending feeling of doom for his opponents. Even when Chad Mendez was landing some effective offense early in their abbreviated meeting, his pitter-patter leg kicks seemed to have been thrown with an air of futility about them. The fight was almost a countdown to a brutal knee-to-the-head knockout. Perfect ring generalship, perfect awareness, and precision striking make for one scary short Brazilian.

His record is terrifying. He’s finished four of his last seven, and during his fight with Mark Hominick, he won while suffering from the after effects of a staph infection. But a deadly disease neither prevented him from defending his belt nor planting a softball sized hematoma on top of Hominick’s dome.

Have you ever seen anything so nasty? Not even Edgar’s mug looks that bad at the end of his fights. That’s right up there with the Dos Santos duck face after UFC 155.

Needless to say, Jose Aldo could teach a graduate course on face-breaking. His reign has been a lesson in dominance, and there are very few men who can claim to be anywhere near his level of skill.

Enter the Truth.

Frankie Edgar is the exact opposite: an undersized champion who’s had to scrape and scrap to hold onto his title, only to have it withheld from him by some very controversial judge’s rulings. His title reign was marked by hair-thin, nail-biting, sphincter-clinching decisions that never disappointed. Six battles with three opponents convinced me that Edgar is the most incredible undersized lightweight to ever step into the Octagon.

The perennial underdog will bring his trademark grit, heart, and heavy handed persistence into a lower weight-class where he is still the smaller man, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Edgar has a reputation as a giant slayer. He’s made a career out of beating the odds, and I would love nothing more than to see that trend continue. And here’s the thing…he can do it.

He’s got a powerful wrestling pedigree that shouldn’t be trifled with, and a boxing game that is capable of spectacular KO’s against guys like Gray Maynard, who should, by any intelligent standard, be fighting at welterweight. Dude walks around at like 195. What’s that about? I’ve gotta read Dolce’s book…I digress.

The point is that Edgar’s stand-up, conditioning, and ground game are potent enough to give anyone problems, and if he’s going to beat Aldo on Saturday night, those will be his keys to victory. More specifically, he’ll need to press the action, get the fight to the ground, avoid submissions, and put together some effective offense from the top. He has the ability to keep up with Aldo on their feet as well, so long as he really concentrates on lateral movement, and angling out after he lands his counters.

However, he does eat a lot of leg kicks, and that does not bode well for him in this match-up. Edgar’s boxing is phenomenal, and he will most likely have a speed and cardio advantage. Additionally, his wrestling game should allow him to get Aldo down, but whether he can keep him down or not will be the determining factor of this fight. I don’t see Aldo submitting him, but if he manages to blast Frankie with a few of those leg kicks, it’ll be very difficult for even someone as tough as Frankie to stay light on his feet, much less maintain an explosive element in his takedown attempts. And even if Frankie manages to check a few of those cannon blasts, his uneven weight distribution will greatly decrease the rate at which he’ll be able to effectively counter.

I’d like to think that Benson Henderson kicks harder than Aldo, and that Edgar will be able to shrug off that part of the game as he was able to do in his last bout with the current 155 lb. champ. But as big as Benson’s legs are, I don’t think he ever played professional soccer. Aldo did, and I have to speculate that his kicks can generate a bit more power as a result.

If Edgar wants to win this, he’ll have to use his feints really effectively to make Aldo wary of the takedown, while simultaneously landing hard counter shots after avoiding any of Aldo’s offense. Edgar can take a hard shot, but if he eats a big shot like that flying knee that landed on Cub Swanson, I wouldn’t be surprised to see this one end in a TKO.

This match is only typical in that it makes me pit my brain against my heart once again. I can’t not root for Edgar, but the betting man has to side with Aldo. He’s got too much finishing power, his Muay Thai is too clean, and it offers the perfect counter to the fast paced in-and-out style of Edgar’s stand-up. He’ll slow him down with those crippling leg kicks, and look for the finish before the championship rounds. I’ll give Edgar the credit he deserves though, and say he’ll beat the spread and take it to a close decision, but in the end, I don’t see him doing enough to take it from the champion.

Can Frankie do it? Of course, nobody is invincible, and if Edgar can put Aldo on his back and keep him there it’ll be his fight all night. However, if I’m analyzing this objectively, I’m thinking Aldo’s aggression and assassin-like stand-up is going to carry the day.

I have never hoped to be wrong so hard.

Update: I was right.

As for the rest of the card, here are some quick picks and things to look for:

Evans vs. Little Nog -

Look for Evans to make a statement, and a good excuse for Little Nog to go ahead and retire. Evans wins on the feet, takes the fight to the ground and then gets a TKO early in the 3rd. (Maybe a call out for Anderson Silva? A boy can dream…)

Update: Wrong-Evans put on the single lousy performance on the card and Little Nog surprisingly moves into the mix.

Overeem vs. Bigfoot Silva -

Overeem wins via Dim Mak, and Antonio Silva’s head explodes. He bleeds just a little bit less than he did in his fight with Velasquez.

Update: I am a failure at life, and I owe Bigfoot an apology.

Fitch vs. Maia -

Dark horse for fight of the night. Could go one of two ways, Fitch decides to win it on their feet, or a highly technical ground game chess match with Maia stealing a decision win from Jon via submission late in the 3rd.

Update: I was technically wrong twice here. I liked Fitch for the decision and Maia for the submission, Maia ended up winning a decision. 

Benavidez vs. McCall -

This card is sick. These are two of the top 3 flyweights in the world, and they’ll be putting on a damn show. This one will be a close back and forth battle on the feet, with Benavidez inflicting slightly more damage and winning a unanimous decision.

Update: I’m a fortune teller! Behold: my mystical ability to predict a fight.

Fx Prelims:

Tibau vs. Dunham -

Tibau has slightly more momentum and a lot more experience. He’ll get his hand raised.

Update: Wrong. Dunham beat the tar out of Tibau for three rounds.

Woodley vs. Heiron -

The former Strikeforce welterweight champion is making his debut against some stiff competition, but I get the feeling he’ll be back to his winning ways in his first fight back from his brutal KO loss to Nate Marquardt. KO in the second.

Update: KO in the first, but that’s good enough for a B+. With the kinda night I had, I’ll take it.

Volkmann vs. Green -

I like Green’s skill set in this fight, but I’m going with my gut, and saying Volkmann grinds out a decision.

Update: Should’ve went with my head. Green via Submission of the night.

Edwards vs. Vallie-Flag -

I sure hope Edwards wins. Never even heard of this other character. He had a couple of wins in Strikeforce over other names I’ve never heard. I expect Yves to win via a very savvy TKO.

Update: Vallie-Flag wins with a split decision. I quit the fortune telling business for good.

Facebook Prelims:

There are only two, and I doubt anyone will watch, but for the sake of totality:

Camus vs. Kimura -

I think Kimura wins by Kimura. Yes I’m lazy, and yes I’m childish.

Update: I was close. Kimura won by rear naked choke, in an impressive come from behind submission.

Figueroa vs. Rivera -

Anybody that can take Michael McDonald to a decision is worth betting for on a Facebook prelim. Figueroa for the win.

Update: Figueroa gets TKO’ed in the second, and Michael Mcdonald’s chances against Renan Barao seem ever more far-fetched.

Hope you found this informative and entertaining! I’ll be updating this post with the results of the fights on Superbowl Sunday.

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The first time I met Chris Matthews, he was talking a mile a minute. Most of it was the run-on big-picture stream-of-consciousness I now primarily associate with Mr. Matthews, but his message was clear – he wanted to cover MMA, at every level, and to create a home for the world of combat sports, and he wanted people who wanted to do the same thing.

When I was in high school, back in the long-forgotten era known as the “Nine Tees” (because it produced Tiger Woods), I was a little cuss. An ornery one, even. Not just little, the littlest. Uberlittle. I entered my Sophomore Year at just a shade over 5 feet tall. What I lacked for in physical prowess, however, I more than made up for with an almost insane ability to insult and trash talk other, much larger and much less able to take a joke, people. I hear people say they’ve never had their ass whipped, but that certainly hasn’t ever been my experience.

In 1995 or 1996, my junior year, a friend of mine who worked with me at the McDonald’s in the Harrison, Arkansas Wal-Mart (“McMart” is the technical, legal term for us scientisty-type folks) introduced me to something new – the Ultimate Fighting Championship. The first one I saw was UFC 2…and all I got from that show was Royce Gracie. Oh man, this guy was beating up people 3 times his size! Making them go to sleep, breaking their freaking arms…and he was the smallest guy out there. I had always been a fan of martial arts because of Bruce Lee, but this was something different. Bruce Lee was yellow Jesus, but this was just a dude. A brash, skinny, gangly dude. He was an inspiration for undersized teenage boys on the wrong side of smartass everywhere. This was a revelation.

So anyway, that was the beginning of my love affair with MMA. Through 10 years in the Army, that love grew and expanded. I’ve watched the evolution of a sport, something not everyone will get to do…when was the last time a mainstream sport was in its infancy, with the rules and strategies developing in front of you, one fight and two fighters at a time? 10 years ago, I told anyone who would listen that one day MMA (I called it NHB then – simpler times) would be the fastest-growing sport on Earth. That day is now here.

So, after a couple of months of pressure, and the unprofessional screwing (that you sadly expect from big-company media) I received from the local ESPN affiliate, I gave in and joined on. There was never a question as to whether I wanted to be involved in this branch of the sports media game, it was always just a logistical issue. Once that was cleared, I was in.

And then, not much happened. Not much good, anyway. Those of you who have been aware of our presence for some time are aware that we’ve been hacking at these vines for a while now. We’ve had more missteps than a Tony LaRussa field sobriety test, and have learned many, many lessons the old fashioned way – by having things blow up in our faces. We’ve had countless # 4′s and 5′s along with Chris, Aimee and I. Enos Barger was a solid and consistent cornerstone of the group, but his life presented different priorities while our project floundered, and we only hope that fortune will allow us to work together again in the future. Today, we’re working with Bernard Oliver, an old friend of mine who co-created and co-hosted with me the award-winning UATV show “Off the Mat”. I’m extremely happy to have Bernard on board, and have been pitching his inclusion for some time. Be sure to be on the lookout for some great videos and interviews from Bernard in the near future.

We are all different in what we bring to this venture, but we are all united by one thing – a deep and abiding passion for the sport of Mixed Martial Arts. What we want to do here is create a home for the sport, and for all the sports it encompasses. If you have a school, or a roster of fighters you manage, if you fight yourself – it doesn’t matter what level you’re at, it doesn’t matter what your record is, it doesn’t matter how many people show up to your fights, we want to talk to you about it. We want to become a place that you KNOW you can go and be up-to-date with the fight game.

So, on that…a large part of the problems in this long and twisting process toward legitimacy is squarely on my shoulders. I used to write web sites, in the late-to-mid-90′s time frame, but mostly quit when I joined the military. I figured when I got out that I would go back to that, easy peasy. Well, it turns out that there was something called “php” and three whole new CSS’s since the last time I ran a site. It wasn’t a learning curve, it was a learning spiral. Some day soon, I’ll post some freeze frames from the site over the last 2 years – yeesh.

On that note, please let me know when you see things wrong with the site. PLEASE. I have placed a CONTACT US form on the front page for just this purpose. A lot of stuff I’m aware of, as I continue to write the php for the different pages, and clear up the myriad CSS errors I accumulated while trial-and-erroring my way through 100,000 lines of crappy code. A lot of stuff I may not be aware of. I’m only one man, as handsome as that man may be. If I sift through 100 problems I know about to find the one I didn’t know about, that’s a mission accomplished.

Also, feel free to let us know about ANYTHING on the website you do or do not like. I don’t want to have a website that I think is awesome – I want to have a website that YOU think is awesome. I’ve got thick skin, lay it on me. Kick this piece of garbage into gear.

We are also now looking for writers. My biggest goal with the site since day 1 was to reach a point where I could push content quickly and efficiently, so that I could build a stable of good writers, and let them build this site through the power of their own styles – let the website become the sum of its parts, instead of being a collection of voiceless conformity. If you can write, and want to write MMA, send me some stuff, and we’ll give it a try. I mean this – if I find 100 good writers, we will have 100 writers. Period. My job now is one thing, and one thing only – make MMALockup the home to the best MMA content anywhere. Help me do that.

We can’t afford to pay anyone at this point in the game, but that’s not to say there is no compensation – you will have a platform for collecting your own affiliated content into one portfolio, you will have guaranteed full rights to compete, you will largely be your own boss (I believe my job as editor is to facilitate and edit, not push deadlines…the content and competition will eventually make its own deadlines), you will receive a healthy percentage of ANY ad revenue off of ANY content you provide, and we will work with you constantly to get you the interviews you want (if you’re curious, just ask, and I’ll give you a list of the guys we’ve had on our show – we know how to get the heavy-hitters, the biggest names in this entire game).

A lot of the people reading this probably AREN’T writers. Do you have any friends who are? Maybe your buddy Jeb who writes for the Local Times is a huge MMA fan? If he can write, send him our way. Maybe your friend Jeb who presses plates at the plant is a huge MMA fan…if he can write, send him our way. We want writers, and a degree from Harvard won’t get you a spot – passion, ability and style, that’s all I care about.

We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t think there was an audience. My vision is that, 3 years from now, if you’re wrestling in your state championship, you can come to our site and find your opponent’s record, measurables, articles written about him over the years, all of the things that come with comprehensive and widespread media coverage. We want to be the conduit to that kind of coverage for the fight game – for wrestling, boxing, and judo; for local shows, UFCs and Shark Fights; for amateurs, professionals, managers and promotion owners.

We want to promote the greatest sport in the world, and we want to do it the way you want us to do it. We’re still a long ways from there, but we’re further from where we started. This is your site – this site belongs to every MMA diehard everywhere, every father buying the big card to have his old drinking buddies over, every kid rolling extra after practice to get that sweep just right, every ambitious beginner sparring with someone twice his size.

Make it yours. Make it good. Make it great.

Kimbo Slice is still showing he has a place in boxing. He recently faced Shane Tilyard on the undercard for Mundine Vs. Geale, in Tilyard’s own backyard of Queensland, Australia.

The bout lasted just two rounds, as Slice walked away with yet another knockout on his record, improving to 7-0-0 (6 KOs, 1 decision). From the opening bell, it was jackhammers to concrete, as both fighters met each other with crowd-shaking blows. Tilyard landed first, but Slice was the first to get the crowd reeling, with a thunderous hook. Tilyard took loads of punishment before putting Slice on the ropes, with a combination that began with a dazzling left hook of his own, and ended with Slice on the ground after a tussle.

Both fighters continued to land power punch after power punch, taking punishment that even the audience could feel, and made it to a well-deserved rest between rounds. Even the commentators couldn’t hold their excitement as they called the fight.

Kimbo opened round two by absorbing more shots, proving he may have a future in football by spearing a tired Tilyard.

The “KO or get KO’ed” mentality that Tilyard seems to have found him on the losing end, as Slice would go on to victory after a rigorous, soul wrenching body blow sent Tilyard to the ground writhing in pain at 2:09 of the second round.

A slugfest for the ages as both men put on a showcase of raw, unfiltered power, and the defense of a sheet of toilet tissue (albeit super absorbent 2-ply toilet tissue).

Although boxing and MMA enthusiasts may knock the bout for lack of much technique in the ways of stopping the other guy from landing shots, the crowd was eating the brawl like raw steak to a lion. What else can you ask for? Heavyweight boxing could always make a come back one of these days, right? One can dream. We at MMAlockup.com wish you well, Kimbo Slice…keep knocking people out, and we’ll keep reporting on it.

And we are live with UFC on Fox 6: Johnson vs. Dodson. Feel free to comment on the fights below.

Eric Koch vs. Ricardo Lamas

Start with Featherweights? Don’t mind if I do.

Round 1

Striking has come a long way since 1995.

A lot of feeling out early. Lamas goes for the double, holds Koch to the fence. Lamas pulls him down, but it doesn’t last at all. Still working for the double against the cage.

We have the first main card boo at 3:00 of the first round.

Still much of the same, Lamas holding Koch to the cage. And they finally disenegage.

They’re back in the same position on the edge. Lamas with another quick takedown, Koch with another quick stand-up.

I have it 10-9 Lamas after 1

Round 2

Koch lands first to start the 2nd. Haha number pun wut

Now Koch is holding Lamas to the fence. Drama!

Back at range. Lamas gets the takedown on a slip. He’s sitting in Koch’s guard.

Lamas working elbows from top. Lamas stacks Koch, and is blasting him. Koch spurting blood. Big John ends it, but not before Koch gives a blood donation the canvas. If my metaphors are this sloppy already, just wait!

Ricardo Lamas defeats Eric Koch by TKO with 2:27 remaining in the 2nd

Eric Koch’s head just went blood-sprinkler. The intermittent pattern. Half the first row’s bodies are rejecting the transplant as I type.

Anthony Pettis vs. Donald Cerrone

Yes, yes, yes, yes yes. That’s how much I like this fight – I am even disobeying the laws of serial commas and conjunctions.

I lean Pettis here. My my most sincere apologies.

Round 1

Pettis lands quick with a right, and they are trading within the first 30 seconds. And Pettis is doing cartwheels. Game on.

Pettis looks sharper and quicker early.

Big body kick lands for Pettis. Cowboy acting hurt. Pettis with a kick to the face, jumping off the fence. So 2011.

And Pettis hits Cowboy with a kick to the liver, Cerrone drops, and Pettis lives up to his nickname. Showtime, fool.

Anthony Pettis defeats Donald Cerrone by TKO with 2:26 remaining in the 1st

So, just how acquainted are you with the history of MMA? If your answer to this question is “is MMA that thing with the house music and pacifiers?”, then do yourself a favor and find some video of Bas Rutten on these here internets. The liver, she is a cruel mistress.

Glover Teixeira vs. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson

I expect this fight to end the same way my drinking nights typically do, in a bloody, messy rampage.

No, seriously, though, for reals, no joking, Rampage is in trouble.

Round 1

They’re throwing right out the gate.

Rampage with a leg kick. Woah.

Teixeira gets the takedown from a single, goes to back, and has Rampage flattened. Teixeira looking for a choke.

Rampage gets up, and comes out brawlin.

Glover seems to have lost a bit of confidence, I say based on my wild-assed uneducated body language reading.

Glover hits the body with a combo. They are really exchanging. Rampage with a big left, no real effect.

Glover rushes Rampage, lands a big left.

Glover landing combos, and Rampage is gettin the weeble-wobbles. Glover drops Rampage, Rampage gets up, head kick by Glover barely misses. With 0:30 to go in the 1st, and Rampage on the edge, Glover needs to intelligently finish this thing. Unless you want Rampage to rest up and throw more bombs in the second…and he apparently will.

I have it 10-9 Glover after 1

Round 2

Rampage throwing to start the second. Duh.

Glover with another takedown, missed it early, but pushed through. He has top from Rampage’s half guard, but is almost out to side control. Dominant half-guard for Glover, and he’s an ankle away from passing fully to side.

Elbows to the forehead by Glover, and Rampage scrambles to his feet.

Rampage grabs a clinch, and blasts Glover with multiple uppercuts. Left lands from Glover, and another. That rhymes, if you mispronounce his name.

Glover working a stiff jab. 2 big uppercuts land for him.

Glover stuffs a Rampage takedown, and Rampage looks gassed. They give each other the ole come-on-no-you-come-on. And again.

Another uppecut lands for Glover, and Rampage lands a right. Another right lands for Rampage, and then a left hook. Round ends the way both have proceeded, with punches.

I have it 10-9 20-18 Teixeira after 2

Round 3

Glover lands first in the 3rd, with a left.

Teixeira with another takedown. The strikes are fairly even, but the grappling is all Glover. He is working Rampage against the cage from a dominant position in Rampage’s half-guard, again. Rampage get sback up, and they’re trading again. Crowd is loving it.

Rampage again tries for a lazy takedown, again it serves no practical purpose.

Left hook staggers Rampage just a tad.

Left hook followed by head kick for Glover. He’s bloody and tired, but seemingly fresher than Rampage. He takes Rampage down again, punishes him for second, and they’re back up. Rampage getting his midsection worked with hooks against the cage. His Sunday sucks.

Big Glover hook lands to the body. Damn. Another takedown for Glover, and he moves to mount with 30 seconds left in the fight.

The final 10 seconds consist of Glover in full mount reigning down violence. If there was a doubt after the first 14:50, that done kilt it.

I have it 10-9 30-27 Teixeira after 3

Judges score it 30-27 30-27 29-28 for the winner, Glover Teixeira defeats Quinton “Rampage” Jackson by Unanimous Decision

Say what you will about QJ, but the dude is tougher than a panda’s buffet.

Demetrious Johnson vs. John Dodson

Because bamboo is really tough.

Johnson’s footwork, Dodson’s power, both’s almost unreal speed. Damn. Johnson? Wrestling? Yeah?

Round 1

First landed strike is a leg kick to the body by Dodson. Both throwing low kicks to start. They fly around each other in circles. If you stand in the middle, you can levitate if the floor drops out from under you. Another lesson I learned in the barrel at Dogpatch in 1987.

Dodson throws big. He hits for the ‘fect. Colloquial, ya’ll.

I can’t even pretend to give a punch-by punch of this. They just picked up a Kansas farm house.

Dodson seems to be landing more in the exchanges, both leading and countering. Also working different sections.

Incredible takedown defense by Dodson against the double, so Johnson picks him up and slams him. Dodson gets up after a few seconds, but gets caught ont he way out. Dodson has Johnson back-to-cage.

They separate, and it’s more lightning footwork. Even thought last 10 seconds was all Johnson holding Dodson to the cage, there were a buncha shots in there.

I have it 10-9 Johnson after 1

Round 2

Dodson follows a knee with a quick jab. Johnson pushes him to the fence. Johnson drops for the double, and drags him down. Dodson has his back to the wall, and gets up.

Nice right lands for Johnson, and Dodson levels Johnson with a left. Johnson pops right back up, and we’re off again. Dodson levels Johnson AGAIN with a left. And again, making a clearly out-of-it Johnson drop for a double.

Again Dodson knocks him down, and Johnson almost cartwheels backward. Power kills.

Joe Rogan says a lot of things that I do, after I say them. Also, I’m more attractive than both John Anik AND Kenny Florian. For informational purposes, Mr. White.

I have it 10-9 Dodson 19-19 after 2

Round 3

Dodson lands three short lefts in about 2 seconds. Johnson goes kick to the body. Johnson shoots, gets caught by a Dodson knee, and Johnson can’t finish. Johnson has Dodson against the cage, and Johnson’s knee grazes Dodson’s bean bag. Smoke break!

Quick restart, it was only a flesh wound. Dodson with the flying knee. If his tank stays full, he could finish this at any moment.

Johnson starting to land off a hesitation. Johnson gets a takedown under a Dodson left. Dodson again moves his back to the cage and tries to wall walk, but Johnson keeps his weight on top of him, and moves him off the fence. Short punches to the body by Johnson, in Dodson’s guard.

Johnson with a knee exiting from the cage. Dodson lands another left. Johnson lands left body kick, but Dodson lands counter-left.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Johnson after 3

Round 4

Both using leg kicks to set up their combos. These are two very complete, very skilled fighters. Johnson going for another double, and gets it. He goes straight to side, and Dodson gets right out. Dodson has a hand down, and Johnson lands a knee to Dodson’s face, so that’s a stoppage.

So, they show Dodson in his corner, and Big John says “Look at me…look at me with your bad eye…am I ugly?” Legend.

Two more lefts for Dodson. Then a left to the body. Johnson hasn’t seen Dodson’s left all night.

Johnson goes for another takedown, a single that Dodson takes to the cage. Dodson holding Johnson to the cage.

Another left by Dodson. Johnson landing a couple of combos in a row, he seems to be getting more and more comfortable as the fight proceeds. He has Dodson against the fence holding a single, again. Dodson gets Johnson’s leg, and Johnson gets out with a knee, grabs a clinch, and is now holding Dodson is in the same position as where the illegal knee happened earlier, with his hand to the ground. Johnson punishing the crap out of Dodson with his knee for the trouble. He is grinding Dodson up against the fence. They separate and bang for a second, then back to the cage. This is a slugfest in the middle of the cage as the 4th concludes.

I have it 10-9 39-37 Johnson after 4

Round 5

With two stoppages so far, they shake hands and hug to open the last round. Johnson has a takedown before I’m done fat-fingering that sentence.

Johnson holds Dodson down for a bit, Dodson gets back up and gets control of Johnson against the cage…and Dodson is holding Johnson off the ground against the cage. Well, ok.

At range again. Dodson now working a double, doesn’t look likely to finish. But he does, with Johnson wall-walking out immediately.

Johnson grabs a clinch off another Dodson shot, and works him all the way to the cage. Johnson working knees and punches to a covered-up Dodson against the fence, working the clinch to max effect. Rich Franklining his head now, goes to the body on the break. Beat down ensuing.

Dodson looking at the clock, down on the cards with 0:30 to go.

Johnson finishes the fight knee from the clinch, for 199 strikes in the fight.

I have it 10-9 49-46 Johnson after 5

The judges score it 48-47 49-46 48-47 for the winner, Demetrious Johnson defeats John Dodson by Unanimous Decision

And we are live with UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez. Feel free to comment on the fights below.

I got Nurmagomedov, Rothwell, Dollaway and Belfort. If these picks go anything like my bowl picks, as history indicates they likely will, we may finally get to see Bisping eviscerated by Silva.

John Anik looks like the guy who secretly pulls the hairs off of the toothbrushes he finds in your trash, and makes hats with them. Not saying he DOES do this, I’m saying he LOOKS like he does.

Thiago Tavares vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov

Let me be perfectly clear here…I will call him Nurm, and no more, and it is not because I am disrespectful, but because I am incredibly lazy. You have no idea.

Wait, Buffer speaks Portugese? You think his whole announcing career up to this point has just been him angling for an Ambassadorship to Brazil? If so…good play, Buffer. Good play.

Round 1

Nurm’s been impressive every time I’ve seen him fight, but he’s got a fairly tall task in front of him tonight.

A lot of circling early. Nurm lands the first punch. Nurm lands a left and tries to follow over the top.

The crowd is feisty. Nurm drops Tavares with a huge uppercut, and just DESTROYS Tavares with elbows from side. Dayume.

Khabib Nurmagomedov defeats Thiago Tavares by TKO with 3:06 remaining in the 1st

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Ben Rothwell

Fat boy fight! (editor’s note: Chris said that)

Round 1

I am “The Nose”. Go ahead, snicker.

Rothwell lands first, and Gonzaga dives for a single. He carries Rothwell to the cage by one leg.

Gonzaga keeps working for the takedown, but Rothwell defending ably. Gonzaga finally gets it from the fence, tries to go to back. Rothwell using the cage to great effect, and is back up, back to the fence.

Knee from Gonzaga, didn’t look that powerful. To me, sitting in my living room. They’re separated.

Gonzaga throwing huge punches, when he throws. Knee from Rothwell, who is now holding Gonzaga to the cage. He steps back, and they’re at range again. Gonzaga promptly lands 3 straight rights.

They’re starting to trade punches from range. Gonzaga back to holding Rothwell to the cage.

I have it 10-9 Gonzaga after 1

Round 2

Gonzaga lands first, early in the 2nd. Gonzaga goes to a guillotine. He drops to his back, and it looks tight. That’s it, fight over.

Gabriel Gonzaga defeats Ben Rothwell by Guillotine Choke 58 seconds into the 2nd Round

Daniel Sarafian vs. CB Dollaway

Ultimate Phighter Phenom Phight Time. Pha reals.

Round 1

I’m changing my pick to Sarafian. Got a feeling. Time to get thrown outs a moving car again.

Dollaway working leg kicks early. Sarafian is somehow bleeding already. Not sure what happened. Sniper maybe.

Sarafian lands some shots, and Dollaway throws a windmill that wasn’t close. Both fighters working the body early.

Sarafian stumbles and drops Dollaway with one shot. Dollaway tries to tyrn it to his advantage with a takedown, but no dice. They separate after a short period on the cage. Sarafian starting to own the exchanges

Sarafian has a big overhand right. He gets it flush, this thing is done.

I have it 10-9 Sarafian after 1

Round 2

Feeling out in the 2nd. Sarafian still landing when they do exchange. Sarafian drops Dollaway with a massive overhand right, but Dollaway recovers and gets up quickly.

Sarafian goes for a takedown all the way to the cage, hits Dollaway with a kick to the face as he’s getting out of there/

Counter right lands for Sarafian. Dollaway is staying aggressive, but he’s not going to win on the feet. Zero chance.

Sarafian works the jab a little. Dollaway with a big kick to the body, and drops Sarafian with a huge uppercut. Dollaway finishes the round hammering Sarafian from his back.

I have it 10-9 Dollaway 19-19 after 2

Round 3

They trade on their feet early in the 3rd. Dollaway lands another body kick. I think he’s taken some starch out of Sarafian with those. Dolloway hits Sarafian with a knee from the clinch, and then another big right. He gets on top of Sarafian against the cage, and is punching him from mount. Now to Sarafian’s back, and Sarafian back up with hsi back to the cage, whiel Dollaway continues to press the double.

Dolloway gets another takedown, and is holding from his back. Throwing some pitter-patter to avoid the standup. Sarafian reverses and stands up. Now diving into Dollaway’s guard.

Sarafian on top, in Dollaway’s half-guard. He moves to mount, and then shortly to back. Trying to straighten Dollaway out for the choke with less than a minute to go.

Sarafian trying to get the rear naked as the fight winds down, and Dollaway transitions into Sarafian’s guard. This is a close round.

Dollaway pushing forward for Sarafian, and gets hit by a knee. Fight ends with Sarafian over Dollaway on the ground against the cage.

I have it 10-9 29-28 Sarafian after 3

The judges have it 29-28 28-29 29-28 for the winner, CB Dollaway over Daniel Sarafian by Split Decision

No complaints. Close fight that could have gone either way, and Sarafian was purty bursted up at the end.

Vitor Belfort vs. Michael Bisping

The crowd seems to have a slight, yet perceptible, bias in favor of Belfort here. Film at 11.

I watched Vitor fight in high school. How the hell am I watching him fight at this level at 33?

Round 1

Mohawk Vitor has +100 hit points. I never really played fantasy games, so if I did that wrong, screw you, get a girlfriend.

I gotta think Belfort destroys The Count here, but Bisping is one overachieving limey. Is that a slur? I really don’t know. Which is weird, because I’m usually so authoritative with my slur classification.

By the by, I hope you follow Dana White online. I know of no other major sports head who publicly trashes his sport’s referees during contests.

They feel out early, with Bisping trying leg kicks.

Vitor tries the head kick, not close. Minute and a half in, no real strikes landed other than Bisping leg kicks.

Vitor tries spinning head kick, also not close. Belfort lands a left. Cataches Bisping with an uppercut coming in. Belfort visibly getting more comfortable.

Belfort lands to the body. Bisping pawing with the jab. Belfort with another counter uppercut.

Quick stop for an eye poke, and we’re back at it.

Belfort follows a left with a body kick that is caught. Bisping really going diverse…and catches a huge shin to the face that stuns him. Vitor tries to capitalize, but not much gets through.

I have it 10-9 Belfort after 1

Round 2

Belfort definitely had “counter strike” in the gameplan.

Bisping is bloodying to the nose sector.

Bisping definitely had “leg kicks” in the gameplan. Vitor levels Bisping with a huge kick to the head, followed up by the devastating finish on the ground.

Vitor Belfort defeats Michael Bisping by TKO with 3:34 to go in the 2nd Round

Vitor Belfort. Yup.

The UFC announced yesterday that Chael Sonnen and Jon Jones would coach the next season of The Ultimate Fighter…and I’m not even funnin. For proof, here’s the audio of today’s media conference call for the event.

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You can’t really go wrong with a fan favorite in a main event title fight. Whether or not said fan favorite ranks high enough to “deserve” the title shot is a non-issue; especially in the case of old-school UFC veteran and former Champion Vitor “The Phenom” Belfort. Belfort himself will face another phenom, indeed…the most dominant Light Heavyweight Champion in UFC history: Jonny “Bones” Jones this Saturday at UFC 152.

In the last 18 months Jon Jones has decimated four previous UFC Light Heavyweight Champions (Shogun, Machida, Rampage and Rashad Evans), earning stoppages against all but Rashad. Vitor Belfort is also a former UFC Champion, though he has not fought at Light Heavyweight for quite some time, nor has he faced an opponent of Jon Jones caliber. But, as the saying goes: the knockout punch is the last thing to go, so he always has a puncher’s chance.

MATCHUP

If Vitor can capitalize on an early mistake or perhaps an opening from Jones early and unleash the lightning fast handspeed that put him on the map in the first place, we may have a new champion on Saturday. Vitor has earned 15 career wins in under 5 minutes, but after the 5 minute mark, he’s gone 1-5 in previous fights. Therefore, as the statistics have it, Belfort has a VERY small window of opportunity. Despite the obvious setbacks, he’s only a 6-1 underdog. So if you’re feeling lucky, put your money on him and pray for a Hail Mary KO!

Jon Jones

STRENGTHS:

Jones gives a whole new meaning to the term: world class wrestling, having dominated NCAA National Champions Matt Hamill and Ryan Bader, not to mention he’s never been taken down in a fight. He has a seemingly impenetrable 84” inch reach, outstanding cardio, and devastating Muay Thai strikes. Is there anything this guy can’t do?

WEAKNESSES:

None that we’ve ever seen…

Vitor Belfort

STRENGTHS:

Vitor has one punch knockout power and handspeed that can finish any opponent at any time, even Jon Jones. As one of the few fighters from the early days of Vale Tudo and No-Holds Barred competition, Belfort has nothing to lose by fighting for the title; and his experience will give him the mental tools he needs to bring a serious challenge to the Champion.

WEAKNESSES:

He’s shown some cardio issues in the past, and has been known to slow down considerably in later rounds. Since this is a five round fight at a heavier weight than he has fought at for many years, cardio may creep up on him once again. Lastly, Belfort does not fight well from his back. Jones has the best top game in the UFC, as evidenced by his knockout of Brandon Vera while trapped in guard, and his stunning submission of Rampage Jackson. Vitor must keep the fight standing at all costs if he hopes to win the belt.

PREDICTIONS

Jones via 3rd Round TKO

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PRESS RELEASE: Professional MMA Fighter Raphael “Noodle” Davis has Entered into a Plea Agreement

If you missed it before, Davis is the fireman and fighter who was allegedly competing in MMA while drawing disability checks. Here in Arkansas, we call that working two jobs.

Official Press Release from Paradigm Sports Management -

September 12, 2012

(Los Angeles, CA) Professional MMA fighter Raphael “Noodle” Davis (12-2) has entered into a plea agreement regarding his injuries and workers compensation issues. While he has now realized that continuing to train for MMA fights was not in the scope of his doctor’s orders, he did so with no intent of wrongdoing it was simply a misunderstanding. He has now accepted responsibility and remedied the situation in full.

Mr. Davis has served honorably with the Los Angeles Fire Department for over 8 years. During the course of his employment, he sustained verified and documented injuries while serving the City of Los Angeles. Due to those on-duty injuries, Mr. Davis required not only medical attention and doctor’s visits, but underwent various surgeries as well. Due to the extent of these injuries, he was forced to take time off from his employment with the City.

It was during this time off that Mr. Davis attempted to continue his training and competing in the sport that he loves, Mixed Martial Arts. Due to the status the doctor put him on, he was not to work or perform any activities that were inconsistent with the doctor’s restrictions. Mr. Davis believed, at the time, that as long as he could perform and maintain a certain training regimen and did not exacerbate his injuries, that that complied with his doctor’s orders. Mr. Davis now realizes that competing in MMA events was outside the scope of his doctor’s orders. He has admitted to that mistake and has accepted responsibility accordingly. He has agreed to a disposition in court to perform 200 hours of community service and has already paid back, in full, the amount that was earned from the City during the time that he was off injured.

The terms of his agreement will result in a misdemeanor conviction upon completion of the community service. Mr. Davis, in accepting responsibility and acknowledging his error, looks forward to focusing once again on those that matter most, his loving family, and continuing in his MMA career.

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