UFC 155 Live Blog - Dos Santos vs. Velasquez
And we are live with UFC 155: Dos Santos vs. Velasquez. Feel free to comment on the fights below.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again (a common theme in my life)…the gladiator is fermenting horse piss next to the new open. I urinate on the gladiator’s very memory.
Someone asked me who I have in the main event. “Someone,” I says to them, “your parents gave you a crappy name. ‘Someone’? What is that?” Also, this never happened. I have no idea who will win the main event, but for the 155th straight time, it won’t be Tank Abbott.
Chris Leben vs. Derek Brunson
My prediction – Brunson punches Leben many several hunnert times, Leben goes blackout drive and initiates the zombie brawl protocol, and someone goes to sleep in a parade of Eli Porter eyes.
Round 1
Wow. Leben tries to follow up a caught kick by rushing Brunson, and Brunson pancakes him. Now working from top. That was a big brother move.
Leben works for a triangle/armbar from guard, Brunson slams him a tiny bit.
Leben creates space with an upkick and tries to get up, but Brunson gets right back to it.
Brunson hurting Leben with elbows form the top. Now in Leben’s half guard, working the gee en pee.
Now Brunson is teeing off with punches with Leben against the cage. I bet Leben will quit because he’s scared of punches.
Leben wall walks and gets up. Round ends with Brunson landing as he lets Leben off the fence and out of his grasp for the first time in the fight.
I have it 10-9 Brunson after 1
Round 2
Brunson works leg kicks early in the 2nd. Now he has Leben against the cage with underhooks. Chris Leben is Rudy if he would have become an red-headed alcoholic fighter instead of a Fighting Irish.
Brunson gets Leben to the ground again. Es trouble.
Leben lands elbows to Brunson in getting up from bottom. Leben looks much fresher. This is what the man do. Brunson landing some serious shots on the feet.
Leben is doing his turn-the-tide-while-looking-oxy-stoned thing.
Brunson has hit Leben so much. Because that’s how you beat Chris Leben.
This crowd boos too much. Waaaay too much. I boo them.
I have it 10-9 Leben 19-19 after 2
Round 3
Leben looked like he was finding an advantage on his feet, but Brunson says no no no. On the top again. Leben wallwalks to get up, and takes a solid knee to the solar plecksers.
Brunson landing crosses from range. Leben with a monster left. Brunson says whatevs, but he walked sideways a sec there.
Brunson just surviving late in the third. Brunson with a nice punch backing away, and he’s looking at the clock. Leben swinging for the fences to enter the last minute, and Brunson just drags him to the ground again. Leben is game from the bottom. Dean stands them up around 15 seconds, and Leben can’t seal the deal. They finish swanging.
Great fight. This crowd is Phillies-game bad.
I have it 10-9 29-28 Brunson after 3
All three judges score the fight 29-28 for the winner, Derek Brunson over Chris Leben by Unanimous Decision
These people must be the ones my mom warned me about, because they are a bad crowd. Swish.
Alan Belcher vs. Yushin Okami
I got Belcher to beat Okami. Again. Yeah.
Belcher looks like Mel Gibson. An Arkansan Mel Gibson, so without all the Natzee stuff.
Round 1
These are two guys who are worlds different from the first time they fought. This inane observation brought to you by boxed wine.
Lotta feeling out early, nothing big until Okami drops Belcher with a quick jab.
Okami holding Belcher to the cage with the over-under. Too easy.
Belcher trips Okami from the cage, and Okami ends up In Belcher’s guard in the scramble. Belcher really working the guard.
Okami moving with some ease on the ground, but Belcher is, as usual, crafty. Belcher audibly wheezing for breath with the pressure of Okami on top of him.
Okami finishes a dominant round holding top on the ground before moving to his back.
I have it 10-9 Okami after 1
Round 2
Boy does Okami look smooth on his feet in this fight. Boy howdy.
Okami gets right back to side control, holding Belcher down by the cage. Ground and pound in effect.
Okami is a specimen. Belcher is the rare fighter who does the correct thing and turns into the side mount from bottom. Not that it’s really helping him against Okami. And everything like that. And a stand up from side control? Wait…huh?
Okami holds Belcher against the cage. For a while. Eventually drags him down, and gets back to half guard. Dominance.
Okami is just owning Belcher. Johnny Cash looks sad as hell watching in Technicolor on Beclher’s arm.
I have it 10-9 20-18 Okami after 2
Round 3
Belcher lands a counter right and levels Okami. He gets back up, and Belcher continues to look for fight-endingportunities.
Okami back to holding Beclher to the cage…and Belcher pancakes Okami. Hello, moto. Belcher to back. Okami defending with a two-on-one. Okami stands up with Belcher holding for guillotine. He goes for the choke standing. On his back no holding the choke…and it’s gone. Poof.
Okami back on top in Belcher’s guard. This fight look ovah. Boxed wine, boxed wine.
Watching a UFC with Ron is fantastic. He’s like a New England Andy Griffith. What does that mean? No idea, but Alan Belcher is getting the crap kicked out of him.
I have it 10-9 30-27 Yushin Okami for certain for sure after 3
The judges have it 30-27 30-27 29-28 after 3 for Yushin Okami over Alan Belcher by Unanimous Decision
Win or lose, I love to see Alan Belcher fight.
Tim Boetsch vs. Constantinos Philippou
For Tim Boetsch’s first fight, I will forever cheer for him. I am now going to disrespect my family name by giving these two athletes nicknames instead of spelling their names out every time.
I got Phil over Bo
Round 1
Bo gets Phil to the cage early. See, that’s not so bad.
Boetsch works for a minute for the single, and eventually gets it. Phil immediately wallwalks back up, back to Boetsch doing work from the clinch. He’s dropping for another takedown, and gives it up.
The discussion in the room has turned to finding a picture of an Asian cowboy on a horse. It’s not nearly as racist as it sounds.
Oh, wow, the crowd is booing. Dooooooooouuussssh.
Love that Boetsch front kick. He ducks under a Phil punch, and gets the takedown.
Kim Winslow stands them up. Welcome to my world.
Phil pops Boetsch purty good, to little effect. Or possibly affect.
Boetsch goes beast mode too late, hurts Phil as the round ends.
I have it 10-9 Boetsch after 1
Round 2
Tim Boetsch looks like a deranged elf on HGH.
Boetsch is controlling Phil. Tries a knee from a thai clinch. Boetsch is bleeding from his forehead. He seems to like it.
Phil stops a takedown. Boetsch lands a front kick, agayne. Bleeding intensifies.
Phil loses his mouthpiece as Boetsch gets eye molestationing. Boetsch is being all “oooooh, my eye that you placed your finger into hurts”. And then gets up to fight. Here we go. Another front kick lands.
Boetsch pretty much drops to guard. Phil has side control, sort of, in half.
Now in Boetsch’s guard. Back to half guard. Boetsch is starting to get worked.
As the round ends, Phil is pounding a messy messy bloody mess of a Tim Boetsch.
I have it 10-9 Philippou 19-19 after 2
Round 3
Boetsch is cut up like a cable news clip. Topical, yet non-offensive. That’s how it’s done.
Boetsch gets thrown to his back. He is open like an opening. I’m fading.
Phil just walks away from him. Boetsch’s face is double smothered in bloody blood. Winslow just lets it keep going. Boetsch is tough – the kind of tough wusses call “stupid”.
Winslow calls it, finally.
Constantinos Philippou defeats Tim Boetsch by TKO at 2:51 of the 3rd Round
Ron and Chris are unanimous in their disdain for the reluctance to call that fight, in light of the fighter safety concerns. At least that’s what I gathered.
Joe Lauzon vs. Jim Miller
I’m going to call this fight of the night before it even starts. This shall not backfire. Shalln’t.
I got Lauzon. Feel pretty comfortable about it, even. No slam on the Millers, but c’mon. C’mon.
Round 1
Do not adjust your color. They don’t have any.
Miller swarms after landing a nice leg kick, Lauzon defends well. Miller looks outstanding on his feet. He is blowing Lauzon up.
Miller landing huge elbows in the clinch, and opens Lauzon up BAD. Lauzon is Braveheart with the bloody war paint. What imagery.
Miller is just blasting Lauzon. Lauzon lands a knee. Miller is just landing at will.
Lauzon is just pouring blood from the right side of his face. Lauzon is stunned. Big body shots by Miller. Holy crap. What a round. It ends with a Lauzon knee to the body. Crowd is finally happy./p>
I have it 10-9 Miller after 1
Round 2
That cut is right up in Lauzon’s nose-to-eye area sector.
Miller shoots for the double, easy takedown. He’s in Lauzon’s butterfly guard.
Lauzon looks like a Wes Craven movie. Just pouring blood. You could fill an elevator with it. Miller just holding top. Lauzon tries to sweep, just not happening.
Lauzon leaves a pool of blood everywhere he goes. Like Suge Knight.
Lauzon sweeps from a Miller Darce attempt. Now Lauzon is pouring blood into Miller’s face and chest.
Ref stops them IN POSITION to check the cut or something. This is dumb. Or not. Ron is impressed, and he was in a movie with Ron Turturro.
Miller goes to mission control, and Lauzon tries to bloody-slam him. See what I did there?
Miller tries to stand up, and Lauzon grabs his leg. Oh my.
I have it 10-9 Lauzon 19-19 after 2
Round 3
Lauzon is a catcher’s mitt. This has been one heel of a fight, and Miller is gassed-looking.
Miller is winning this fight with inside leg kicks.
Miller has been the much sharper fighter standing. Lauzon looks like he headbutted a whiskey bottle. Repeatedly.
They continue to trade on their feet halfway through the final round. Lauzon hurts Miller with a body kick, then hits a left. Miller working the body shots.
If you boo THIS fight, you don’t even deserve your high school education, teenage pregnancy and communicable disease.
Miller landing hooks to drive home the point. Lauzon drops for a heel hook, and Miller gets out with 10. Fight ends with Lauzon going for a choke. FIGHT OF THE NIGHT BOOM YEEEAAAH
I have it 10-9 29-28 Miller after 3
All three judges scores the fight 29-28 for Jim Miller over Joe Lauzon by Unanimous Decision
Fight of the Night seems secure…Fight of the Year?
Junior Dos Santos vs. Cain Velasquez
I really can’t call this fight. I really really can’t.
I don’t think it will go the distance, though.
Round 1
Both guys look determined. You may think that will be the last useless observation…but I doubt it. Cain gets JDS down for a second, right back up. Then a badly failed double attempt. Cain is really coming offrward.
Cain trying to drag him down, but JDS is doing what he do.
Cain just diving for takedowns. JDS working the jab. Cain looks wild on his feet.
JDS stuffing the takedowns, but Cain is landing some. Both guys a little bloody and swolt. Cain is really landing. HUGE cross, and JDS is bad bad bad hurt.
Cain owning JDS against the cage, and drops Junior again. Cain looks like a monster. Something that makes monsters wet thesyelves. Cain finishes the round punishing JDS from his back.
I have it 10-9 Velasquez after 1
Round 2
Junior is a mess. Cain walked him down in the first.
They come out swinging, and Cain just THROWS JDS. Cain is all over him.
JDS gets up, Cain drives him right back into the mat. Chris says Cain is a modern-day Fedor.
JDS back up. He is wobbly. Cain gets him down again. Doing it at will.
And now JDS has Cain against the cage. For 3 seconds or so. Cain back to top on the ground. He is hurting JDS there, too. Cain goes to armbar against Junior…oh me, oh my.
Back to their feet. Dirty boxing from Cain. JDS is just swaying. Beat up.
Velasquez blasting JDS with big punches against the fence as the round ends.
I have it 10-9 20-18 Velasquez after 2
Round 3
Iron Mike up front.
Junior throwing uppercuts and body shots. Cain takes him right down. They’re back up, against the fence. All Cain.
BIG right from Cain. Trading elbows to the faaaace. Cain teeing off on JDS’s face.
Pobre Cigano.
Cain has landed a LOT of hard punches straight to the dome. Junior is Frankensteined.
Junior throwing, but the heat is gone.
I have it 10-9 30-27 Velasquez after 3
Round 4
Junior looks like an aardvark that just got ran over by a Prius.
Cain tried a head kick. Junior is trying, bless his heart. Chris keeps saying his right hand is broke. Junior landing body punches with t’other.
Cain with another temporary takedown. Junior tries to work a double on Cain. Cain gets one instead.
Cain landing massive shots, but JDS is concrete.
Big elbow from JDS on separation. Round ends with one mo’ clinch, and this fight is great.
I have it 10-9 40-36 Velasquez after 4
Round 5
JDS looks refreshed. Stuffs a takedown, then lands the left to the body.
Junior stuffing the takedown attempts. Lands a big right. Cain running across the cage trying to finish a takedown, but JDS is born again hard.
Cain finally gets the takedown off a single. He moves to back.
In half-guard, Cain looks to finish the fight with ground and pound and all of that.
Cain to back again.
Cain controlling JDS against the fence. Cain just flat-out controlling. This has been a runaway. Cain looks unstoppable.
I have it 50-45 Velasquez after 5
The judges have it 50-45 50-43 50-54 for Cain Velasquez over Junior Dos Santos by Unanimous Decision for the UFC Heavyweight Championship
Like I said, no way this fight is going the distance. None.
