March 16, 2013
Posted by Jeremy Hurtt
, Carlos Condit
, Chris Camozzi
, Colin Fletcher
, Georges St Pierre
, Jake Ellenberger
, Jeremy Hurtt
, Johny Hendricks
, Mike Ricci
, Nate Marquardt
, Nick Diaz
, Nick Ring
, UFC 158
And we are live with UFC 158: St Pierre vs Diaz. Feel free to comment on the fights below.
Say, if you’ve had laproscopic surgery in the last week, raise your hand. I bet if you raised your hand, you farted. Got my gall bladder out Tuesday, and it’s like Saddam on the Kurds every time my torso or limbs move more than 4 inches at one time.
I say that to say this – what that story is, this card should be the polar opposite. I say this before almost every show, but I so mean it this time – this is a fantastic set of fights.
Ricci for the win off the bat. 1-0, here I come.
By the way, if you have Cox cable, as I do, I hope you’re enjoying the porn pay-per-view menu on all UFC 158 channels.
Mike Ricci vs. Colin Fletcher
Ricci throwing early, tries a head kick, Fletcher mostly countering with kicks.
A lot of feeling out for the first 90 seconds. Ricci lands a nice body kick. A lot of exchanges, but not much effect.
Fletcher has good timing and length, and it seems to be starting to balance Ricci’s speed.
This card has featured more spinning strikes than anything I’ve ever seen. It’s like ballet, but with blood and Bruce Buffer. Rubber baby bumper something something.
Canadians love to boo fights. This hasn’t been particularly entertaining so far…nut shot! Now we’re cooking with nads. Break.
Ricci recovers from the nut shot, and promptly lands a left hook.
Fletcher keeps spinning. Reminds me of this dude that used to hang out at the redneck bar I frequented in Frederick, Maryland.
Round ends with everyone saying “eh”.
I have it 10-9 Ricci after 1
Ricci lands a head kick, and then follows with the takedown. He’s in Fletcher’s guard against the fence. He passes, and is trying to punish Fletch.
Ricci transitions to back, and then drags him down from the side. Fletcher finally wall walks his way up, but he got busted up some.
Ricci holding Fletcher to the cage with underhooks, and Fletch is leakin.
They break, and exchange somewhat at full range.
Ricci is definitely crisper on the feet now.
Fletcher doing a lot of work with the low kicks, but not sure how much effect they’re having in this fight. The first round had the warming uncertainty of total inaction, but this one is Ricci’s.
I have it 10-9 20-18 Ricci after 2
There’s ice on the mats. Why are people so worried about immigrants from the south, when Canada is sitting up there unchecked?
After a breif exchange, Ricci has Fletcher to the cage. Fletcher switches it with underhooks, and gets put right back. One mo gain, and Ricci lands some shots as they break. Body kick lands for Ricci. And a left. Fletcher is running low on time, halfway through the third.
After this fight, Fletcher will need some spin doctors. It would be a lot funnier if you were here. And drunk. And not terribly intelligent.
Ricci drags him back to the cage.
And then drags him down. And then gets on top of half-guard, and starts reigning down shots after a few.
Ricci gets to his back in a scramble, and has hooks in. He’s mostly attacking with short punches early. Ricci switches to armbar immediately after Rogan tells him to, and Fletcher gets to top and lands punches as the fight ends.
I have it 10-9 30-27 Ricci after 3
- After 3, the judges score it 30-27 30-27 30-27 for the winner, Mike Ricci defeats Colin Fletcher by Unanimous Decision
Nick Ring vs. Chris Camozzi
Nick Ring, right?
Yeah, Nick Ring. 2-0, I’m on my way.
Ring opens with leg kicks. Both guys bouncing around out there. Camozzi landing hooks, Ring landing leg kicks. And so it goes.
Ring has his hands on his hips. Almost baiting Camozzi, and Camozzi makes him pay with a big left that sends Ring into a backpedal.
Camozzi has really found his range, and he’s hurting Ring a little.
Ring with the front kick to the body. Nick just rocking leg kicks with his hands down. And Camozzi hits him again. Empiricism.
Camozzi lands a fe shots rushing in. Ring probably ha smore total strikes, but this seems to be trending Camozzi’s way with a minute to go.
Camozzi with two good leg kicks. They clinch up a bit, Ring throws a knee, they break. Round ends. End message.
I have it 10-9 Camozzi after 1
And my computer shuts down as the second round begins. Awesome.
Pretty even trading for the first 2 and a half minutes of the round, which is what you just missed.
They’re definitely throwing. Ring much cleaner standing this round. Working his jab.
Ring getting two-for-one on the exchanges, Camozzi needs to switch things up. He’s becoming stationary for everything Ring is trying, and Camozzi is now also leaking. Fah-rum the nose.
Camozzi trying to throw big, but Ring has him totally spaced where he wants him.
I have it 10-9 Ring 19-19 after 2
Camozzi seemed irrationally confident between rounds. For once, a fighter’s corner was straight, and told him this was a close fight.
Mo leg kicks fo Ring. Over and over.
Jabs and leg kicks, get you some. Camozzi is game, but he’s having trouble getting close. He lands a left, and then another. I like him pressing forward. He clinches Ring up, and is controlling his back. He takes Ring to the cage, and they quickly break.
Camozzi starting to land some big shots. Lands a left. And another.
Ring tries for a single. He didn’t try hard. Master Yoda would be sooo pissed, ya’ll.
They are straight trading with 30 to go, but it’s a lot slower than earlier. Camozzi with another left. Camozzi misses with aflying knee as time expires.
I have it 10-9 29-28 Camozzi after 3
- The judges score it 29-28 28-29 29-28 for the winner, Chris Camozzi defeats Nick Ring by Split Decision
Jake Ellenberger vs. Nate Marquardt
Nate. The. Great. Criminally underrated (but I’m picking Ellenberger)
Marquardt with the first strike, a leg kick about 30 seconds in.
They trade leg kicks, and Nate falls down backing up. He pops right back up.
Marquardt lands a leg kick, catches an Ellenberger kick, and charges forward with strikes.
Big right lands for Ellenberger.
More leg kicks.
Ellenberger lands a huge right low and left to the chin, and Marquardt drops to his knees. Ellenberger swarms him, and that is all she wrote.
- Jake Ellenberger defeats Nate Marquardt with 2:03 remaining in the 1st
Jakey want bonus. Jakey want fight bonus.
Johny Hendricks vs. Carlos Condit
I got Hendricks here. Condit is super tough, but he ain’t been hit like he’s gonna be hit.
I also like Hendricks’ wrestling against Condit’s jiu-jitsu.
I’m excited. Manbearpig-excited.
Hendricks lands a left early, and swarms forward. Condit gets out of there.
Hendricks with another big left, he swarms again, picks Condit up and slams him, and just walks away. Oh my.
Another left. Condit with a big right, and then a head kick. Hendricks rushes forward swinging, goes for the double, and completes the takedown.
Hendricks just holding Condit down by the hips against the cage, and Carlos wall walks up. They scramble, and Condit moves to triangle attempt. Hendricks quickly out.
Hendricks in Condit’s guard. Condit the more active, with elbows, and sweep attempts.
To butterfly guard. Hendricks stands up after a Condit hammer fist from his back.
Left uppercut, two left hooks, and Hendricks slams Condit again. Condit back up, dragged back down.
Hendricks gets to a front headlock from his knees. He knees Condit to the head twice as they stand, and breaks.
Flying knee for Condit, and Hendricks is again swarming Condit with lefts. Condit uses a kimura to take Hendricks’s back, and he gets up on Hendricks’ back, with hooks.
They break, and Condit lands a big front kick to Condit’s face. The last ten seconds are just bombs from both guys, punctuated by a last second takedown for Hendricks. Wow.
I have it 10-9 Hendricks after 1
No, I mean WOW.
They both kick early in the second. Hendricks lands a right, Condit with a flying knee, Hendricks with a big body shot.
Condit jabs, throws a head kick. Hendricks just throwing lefts, and he grabs a double again. Hendricks slams Condit again, Condit goes to kimura again. After some scrambling, Condit gets up, and they separate. Condit with the right.
Another two big lefts for Hendricks. Holding double against the fence again, dumps Condit again. 7 for 7 on takedowns.
Condit back up, Hendricks holding him to the cage. Knee lands for Condit, and they break. Condit walking Hendricks down to the cage, and is landing some nice combos, and another flying kee, which Hendricks catches, and carries Condit across the cage, slamming him in the middle.
Hendricks in top of half-guard, Condit attacking his arm. Condit gets to his feet, and out. Condit with another right.
Front kick for Condit. Another, Hendricks grabs him again, another dump takedown.
Condit gets halfway up, Hendricks pulls him back down. Condit gets up, and the round concludes.
I have it 10-9 20-18 Hendricks after 2
I have it 20-18, but this is one hell of a close fight.
Hendricks’ left hand is hurt. Uh oh.
Condit head kick. Hendricks jumps in with the left again. Condit working head kicks and crosses, Hendricks jumps in on the single, gets the takedown.
Hendricks on top in Condit’s half-guard, and Condit is very active from the bottom. Hendricks doing work from top with his right.
Condit gets to full guard, and is pounding on Hendricks from the bottom.
Condit to kimura again, uses it to stand. Another big left for Hendricks, who has just been throwing haymakers all fight. Condit misses a kick, and Hendricks gets his back standing.
After some clinchwork, Hendricks completes the takedown. Condit attacking from bottom again, and Hendricks gets up again. Gigantic right lands for Condit, and Hendricks just grabs him. Hendricks gets to back, Condit breaks it off.
Head kick for Condit, and then some combos, straight into another takedown. Condit holding Hendricks’ neck, but he’ll letit go soon. He moves to armbar, and the back to striking from the bottom, and Condit is up. Condit lands a big left, and start bashing on Hendricks, who grabs Condit and picks him up again, but no slam this time. Condit again diving for kimura, Hendricks again puts him down, Condit again gets up, they again finish a round with wild abandon.
I have it 10-9 Condit 29-28 Hendricks after 3
- The judges score it 29-28 29-28 29-28 for the winner, Johny Hendricks defeats Carlos Condit by Unanimous Decision.
So, there’s your Fight of the Year. Unless…
Here we go. Yes.
Georges St Pierre vs. Nick Diaz
Head – GSP
Heart – Diaz
Nothing against GSP, I’m a big fan, I just love Diaz’ game.
I won’t even pretend like you’re getting a shot-by-shot on this one. If Diaz is boxing, you’re getting highlights only. I only type so fast, and so well.
They engage immediately, GSP takes him down immediately. This is where I thought this fight would be fought. Elbow from GSP.
GSP gonna GnP from Diaz’ guard, Diaz scrambles out, and GSP grabs his back. GSP attacking from back.
George controlling Nick, and getting punches in. Every time Diaz tries to move, GSP drags him down. Nick tries to roll, GSP stays on top, heavy. GSP in NIck’s butterfly, stands up, attacks in. Big elbow lands.
Nick throws his leg up, but GSP is too smart for that.
GSP back to holding Nick’s back.
NIck finally gets to the wall, and at least gets to hands and knees, before GSP pulls him right back down to his belly.
Nick finally getsto his feet a little, but GSP holds his back,a nd drags him back down. GSP on Nick’s back, one hook in.
Nick stands again, GSP still all over him, weighing on him against the fence. Nick grabs a kimura, and GSP dumps him. GSP ends the round holding Nick’s back and punching and kneeing.
I have it 10-9 St Pierre after 1
Both leg kick early.
GSP working the jab, as he does. He grabs a double, and finishes the takedown, as GSP does. In Diaz’ guard.
Nick trying to get his legs up on GSP’s shoulders, but GSP is so good from top. GSP rains down punches, and gets to half-guard.
Nick goes for a leg, and GSP has his back again. Knee to the body and punches to the head for GSP.
GSP just dragging him around like a toy wagon.
They go to guard for a bit, and back to back. It’s all the same so far in this fight.
GSP grabs Diaz’ neck, transitions to back again, Nick scrambles up and out. They’re standing again.
GSP landing the jabs. Over and over. Diaz landing kicks, not much else.
Spinning back kick for Diaz.
I have it 10-9 20-18 St Pierre after 2
GSP tries a kick, and Diaz is talking. A lot. Hijinks have arrived, but Diaz is getting tooled in this fight.
Diaz STUFFS a GSP takedown attempt. And does not stuff the next one.
GSP in Diaz’ guard, and gets to his back once more.
Diaz crawls to the fence, and gets up. Nick going for kimura, and GSP lets go.
Another takedown defended for Diaz. GSP owning with the lead jab.
Diaz hits GSP’s body pretty solid. Leg kick for both.
Nick is just not seeing the jab, it’s catching him every time he comes forward.
Both guys going for fancy head kicks.
GSP goes for another takedown, Nick defends again. GSP with the straight right.
Nick now jabbing. Nick starting to pick GSP apartt on the feet, and GSP is looking at the clock. That’s something new.
GSP dives in and gets the double.
He works from guard for a few, and moves to back again. Round ends with Nick scrambling to guard.
I have it 10-9 30-27 St Pierre after 3
Diaz took a swing after the round ended, and got a “one more and you’re done” warning.
More GSP jab.
Another takedown defense for Nick.
Nick trying to create offense, it just isn’t there so far.
Nick with another takedown defense.
GSP goes for the single, they go to a thai clinch. Nick with knees and uppercuts from the clinch.
Body shots for Diaz as they break.
GSP grabs the double, and completes the takedown this time. Nick trying to get his guard going, but it has been an uphill battle. Nick again crawls to the fence, and stands up.
GSP picks Nick up, and slams him for his seventh takedown.
Nick does the crawl-and-up again.
Nick grabs kimura, and drops with it. He lets it go after a dozen seconds or so.
GSP now has Nick’s back again. Nick rolls for the leg, it’s not there. GSP dominant, as usual.
I have it 10-9 40-36 GSP after 4
Head kick for Diaz. Nick landing punches, but I’m not sure that’s the route at this point. I don’t know what is.
They clinch up, and move to the fence. Nick holding GSP to the cage with underhooks.
Nick throwing knees from the clinch. They break.
Nick throws a head kick, and falls when GSP checks it. Guess what? GSP has Diaz’ back.
Nick again attacking kimura, GSP again holding him down with ease. Diaz rolls, GSP keeps his weight on top, dead center. Nick gets back up. 1:45 to go.
GSP jab. They clinch. Diaz working the body, GSP appears to be stalling. Knees from Diaz.
GSP jumps in on another double, and gets what might be the finishing takedown.
Diaz attacking from bottom, but that won’t do it. Fight ends with GSP attacking from top.
Diaz holds GSP’s hand up as soon as the fight concludes.
I have it 10-9 50-45 St Pierre after 3
- The judges score it 50-45 50-45 50-45 for the winner, Georges St Pierre defeats Nick Diaz by Unanimous Decision to retain the UFC Welterweight Championship
What did I tell you? The EXACT opposite of surgery farts.